Shadows of Time: The Peace of Centaurus
by TarisianDreams
Summary: Post Flag Full of Stars, Pre-ST:TMP; Riley/Hogan, Kirk/Ciana Starting again, from broken marriages, Kirk and Riley go to Centaurus to start anew, but Riley's new friend, Jenny Hogan, isn't who she seems to be. Duty, friendship, and the weight of responsibility come into play. First arc in a series.
1. Preface, Cast, Disclaimer and Prologue

**Preface**

When I was first writing this fanfic, it was supposed to be a small fiction to append the end of A Flag Full of Stars. At the end of that book, Kirk has Riley book a flight for him to go to Centaurus, so he can try and reconcile with his estranged wife, Lori Ciana. For those who aren't aware, Lori is Kirk's wife in the apocrypha. She's also who is supposed to be beaming aboard with Sonak, towards the beginning of The Motion Picture. (She was going to see Kirk off.)

As well, in Flag, we're introduced to many other characters, one of which is Anab Saed. She barely shows up, but she impacts the plot, in that she ends her marriage to Kevin Riley, who is now Kirk's aide. Riley doesn't deal well with the news, and as a result, disappoints Kirk-yet is saved by a good Samaritan by the name of Jenny Hogan. Riley befriends Jenny, though her flirtation and obvious interest make for some awkward moments.

By the end of the book, Kirk knows what he wants (to be on a ship, particularly the _Enterprise_), and so does Riley (to remain in Starfleet). However, it also seems that nothing is really resolved so far as relationships. There's a hint that Riley is interested in seeing where things might go with Jenny Hogan, but he's also not wanting to rush into anything, either. As for Kirk, again, his hope is that he might be able to get both loves back into his life.

Flag is the second book in "The Lost Years" saga, though it's the fourth book, Recovery, that picks up from Flag's ending, either a month or four months later. The time inconsistency is due to a lack of proper fact-checking between authorships. Kirk's visit which is alluded to at the end of Flag is not only omitted, but someone claims he hasn't been in space in two years (in Recovery). As well, events recalled in Recovery that happened in Flag are out of sync. Lori left Kirk the same day that Riley's marriage contract to Anab expired. Yet, in Recovery, we are told that it's been two months since Lori ended her marriage with Kirk (contract expiring AND leaving their home, with lines quoted from Flag in Recovery), yet we are also told in the same paragraph (and perhaps sentence) that it'd been six months since Riley's contract to Anab had expired. Jenny Hogan is also never mentioned in the book (which is fine, since there's not a terrible amount of introspection).

Given the inconsistencies between the book, I wracked my brain with ways of dealing with the works while doing my best to weave a fun tale for you to read. I have something that I think will be enjoyable and true to the spirit of "The Original Series." However, the end result is such that I do not see resolution of my tale in one story, but three in most likelihood. It's a long read, so bear with me. There will be friends from the _Enterprise_ crew as well as others who will cameo in this story.

An addendum: Apparently, I'd missed Number One's cameo in Flag. There, she's referred to as Admiral Timothea Rogers, and she was in charge of Starfleet Command Public Information, prior to Kirk taking on the additional role to Command Ops. This puts off a good bit of my fanfiction here, given that it was otherwise assumed from information on Memory-Beta that she was still amongst the stars. She's also referred to as Eu- (presumably 'Eunice') Robbins in "Early Voyages" during Pike's command of the Enterprise. Therefore, I'm going to have to do a bit more gymnastics to adjust the story. My apologies to those following the storyline. I'll be adjusting Number One's name over the next couple of days.

Thank you,

TD

**~*~ Cast of Characters ~*~  
**_(in order of appearance or mention)_

**Timothea Rogers/Number One/Eunice Robbins (was Primus in previous drafts)  
**Former First Officer/Pilot, USS _Enterprise_  
Now, Fleet Admiral, C.O. USS _Yorktown_

**Heihachiro Nogura  
**Starfleet Command Grand Admiral

**James T. Kirk**  
Former Captain, USS _Enterprise_  
Now, Staff Admiral, Starfleet Operations and Public Information

**Section-31 Agent**

**Kevin T. Riley**  
Former Navigator/Engineering Officer, USS _Enterprise_  
Now, Commander, Chief of Staff for Admiral Kirk

**Jenny Hogan  
**World News media producer/hostage during crisis on Apollo Day

**Kav  
**_(original character design by SouloftheWind)  
_Orion/World News media office assistant

**Lori Ciana  
**Vice Admiral, Operations/Estranged Wife to Admiral Kirk

**Anab Saed**  
Chief Security Officer, USS _Yorktown_/Ex-wife to Kevin Riley

**Nan Davis (in mention)**  
World News anchor

**G'Dath (in mention)  
**Klingon Scientist/hostage during crisis on Apollo Day

**Spock**  
Former First Officer, USS _Enterprise_  
Now, Citizen of Vulcan and Initiate for the _Kolinhar_

**Christopher Pike (in mention)**  
Former Captain, USS _Enterprise_  
Starfleet Admiral, retired/living on Talos IV with Vina

**J. Mia Colt (in mention)**  
Former Yeoman, USS _Enterprise_  
Starfleet Captain (possibly on the Exeter or another ship)

**Mister (Alan) Colt  
**(OCC) Former Starfleet Officer  
Captain Colt's father

**Leonard H. McCoy**  
Former Chief Medical Officer, USS _Enterprise_  
Frontier doctor, currently retired on Centaurus

**Joanna McCoy  
**Daughter to Doctor McCoy, currently in residence on Centaurus

**Zhanya Akhmatova**  
Captain, USS _Starhawk_

**Marsten**  
First Officer, USS _Starhawk_

**_~*~ _Referenced Works_ ~*~_**

**_The Galactic Whirlpool, by David Gerrold;  
Bantam Original Novels, October 1980*_**

**The Lost Years, (Book One) by J.M. Dillard;  
Pocket Books, October 1989**

**Flag Full of Stars, by Brad Ferguson, re-write by J.M. Dillard;  
****Pocket Books, April 1991, **ISBN 0-671-73918-2 **  
**

**Recovery****, The Lost Years Saga: Book Four, by J.M. Dillard;  
****Pocket Books, March 1995**

**"Star Trek," created by Gene Roddenberry;  
****CBS/Paramount, 1966-1969**

**"Early Voyages," Marvel Comics, 1997-99**

*****_In the case of The Galactic Whirlpool, this novel establishes Riley's reason for transferring from the Enterprise and is listed here for those who may take interest in reading._

**Disclaimer**

_This work of fiction is written by a fan, for fans. No money has been exchanged for this story. The author has taken great pains in order to keep within the canon and apocrypha of the Star Trek universe. Save for original characters as mentioned, all characters belong to CBS/Paramount and are used without permission. This work is not an official story within the Star Trek universe. Distribution or publishing of this work is prohibited, save through free means, such as free-access websites, fan fiction mailing lists, e-mail, or person to person delivery._

* * *

**Prologue**

"Please, have a seat, Timmie." The small framed staff admiral gestured towards a seat in his office. Heihachiro Nogura regarded the woman who had beaten the odds, becoming not only the first female captain of the fleet, but then the admiralty, as well. Once Timothea Rogers took a seat, so too did Nogura. He slowly poured tea for them both, without so much as another word. Where Kirk or even Ciana might interject with a word, Rogers was frugal with such things. Of course, that didn't mean she wouldn't argue her case, when the time was appropriate. "Your work with the _Yorktown_ has been impeccable, as always."

Rogers bowed her head in humility, just slightly, then raised her brows. "Forgive me, but I would argue it has been adequate, Admiral. Though our diplomatic missions with Ambassador Sarek have been successful, we still had troubles with the _Excalibur_ project."

Nogura waved his hand at the notion, "Ancient history, Timothea." Once the other admiral was sipping her tea, Nogura began, "I'd like for you to keep the _Yorktown_ in this sector, for awhile."

Curiosity flashed across Rogers's fine-boned featured. "Of course." She paused, "Admiral Nogura, the _Yorktown_ is due to pick up dignitaries bound for Andor within the month. Will these new plans fit, or should I reschedule the _Bozeman_ to handle the load?"

"Oh, either will do. I'd just like you to keep close-by, in case you're needed." Nogura smiled after a long period of silence. The other admiral was awaiting an explanation. "I have reason to believe those in Thirty-One are displeasured with the recent events surrounding Apollo Day."

Timothea's lips parted and she locked gazes with her commanding officer. "I see." She bowed her head in contemplation. "Are you asking me to be ready for protection or negotiation?" She was still unsure how much of Nogura said was a barb against her handling of Nan Doris' story, prior to Kirk's assignment to her former position in Public Information.

"Whatever is necessary, Timmie. I don't have to remind you that I have made whatever steps I could to mask your own unusual nature. It's a shame I couldn't do more for your friend, but I'm afraid those measures were taken prior to my seating." Nogura finally sipped his tea and enjoyed the rich, bitter flavor of the _sencha_.

Having already gone through one name change to stay on with Starfleet, Timothea Rogers was certainly well aware of the favors Nogura was referring to. "Was there anything else, Admiral?" Timmie awaited the aging man, who took his precious time in enjoying his tea and answering her.

"Don't give Jim Kirk any ideas of following your lead." One admiral heading a starship was one enough.

"Aye, sir."


	2. Indulging Temptation

**The Peace of Centaurus**

_A fan fiction story set in the Star Trek Universe (in progress) by Tarisian Dreams_

_"In case you never get a second chance: don't be afraid!"_  
_"And what if you do get a second chance?"_  
_"You take it!" - C. JoyBell C._

"...And though we commend you for attempting the switch, it didn't go quite as you planned. Were it not for the actions of Commander Riley, you'd have gotten yourself killed for your trouble, along with the children you attempted to help." Mouth kept in a tight purse, careful of not letting it slip into a pout, Jenny Hogan shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "As it is, we're concerned that Admiral Kirk hasn't clued in. Thankfully, he's been preoccupied with other things than to have to wonder about one of World News' producers." _Here it comes,_ she thought. "That is, unless you continue to see his Chief of Staff."

_I knew it!_ "I'd hardly call two lunch dates 'seeing' him. I'm sorry, sir, but really... I think if anyone would have thought anything was up, we would have heard by now. No calls to the show have been even close—."

"Consider yourself fortunate, then, Miss _Hogan_." Jenny clenched her eyes shut at the way her name was said, and she looked back up to the indiscriminately clothed man who represented the ones who were both her guardians and sentries. Just when she thought she had a normal life again, one wrench gets thrown into the cogs and they have to rear their ugly heads. "Next time, try letting someone else be the hero. You're out of shape for it." _Well, thanks to you I am!_ The redhead scowled and with a call coming in from the station, she quickly excused herself.

As she walked into her office and greeted the primly dressed Orion office assistant, Jenny threw her briefcase and purse onto her desk. "Hiya, Kav. Got any Joe?" The green girl blinked, wondering if Miss Hogan was referring to a man or not. "Coffee, Kav." Kav smiled and poured a fresh cup, handing it over. Jenny drank it straight, her nose wrinkling.

"Don't you usually take that with cream and sugar, Miss Hogan?"

"No time for it. What's our two o'clock?" Kav brought up the information on her PADD and started detailing the two o'clock hour's schedule.

* * *

"Riley, do you have any plans for the next couple of weeks?" The lieutenant commander glanced up into the twinkling eyes of his CO and wondered what James Kirk was on about. Kevin Riley answered the negative and that seemed to perk the admirals ears. "Great. Well, pack your bags, then."

"My bags, sir?" Riley followed Kirk as the older man walked over to grab himself a cup of coffee – even though Riley could easily have done that for him. Kirk was on a roll.

"Bags, luggage. _Suitcases_. I wonder if anyone even calls them suitcases anymore. We should bring that word back, don't you think?" Kirk clapped Riley on the back, "The flight information you sent to my PADD won't do. I need some peace and quiet and that transport is just too cramped. I pulled some strings and we'll be taking our own shuttle."

"We, sir? To Centaurus?"

"Well, I don't want to go alone. It's a long drive. ...Hm. But we can't have you being a third wheel. Admiral Ciana would never approve. Why don't you call one of your buddies?" Riley stammered. He wasn't even sure who would qualify as a 'buddy'. Was it bad that he thought of the bartender from O'Reilly's? "No, wait. Even better. Who's that girl you mentioned?" Riley gave an alarmed look. He'd never mentioned Anab to Kirk, and well... He hardly had even allowed himself to think of Jenny Hogan in such a way. Guilt still tore at him, so there'd be no way he'd mention her to his C.O. Especially when he hadn't even mentioned his failed marriage to Anab. "Wait. That's right. Nan Davis told me. I'm truly sorry. You weren't the one who told me about her—that producer... what was her name again?"

Riley had the urge to tug at his hair. Good for him, he was disciplined enough not to do so in front of Jim Kirk. "...Jenny Hogan, Admiral."

"Invite her along. It'll be a working vacation for you." Riley was about to express how it probably wasn't the best idea. As much as he was attracted to Jenny, he still felt it too soon to ask her out, much less invite her on holiday. Kirk took Riley's hesitation as modesty, which the admiral would not stand for, in this case. "I _insist_." As the Irishman figured that he wouldn't be able to get away without doing as Kirk asked, he gave a nod to his head.

"Aye, sir."

* * *

As she swirled the frozen cream about in its waffle container, Jenny Hogan had the distinct feeling Riley was putting off telling her something. Or asking. She couldn't decide which. The closer it seemed to his actually broaching the subject, the more nervous he got and backed off. He was fumbling like a teenage boy, which would have suited his babyface, had it not been hidden behind an auburn-shaded beard. Riley, for his part, noticed how quiet Jenny was today. She was usually animated, and though he supposed it could have been due to the hostage crisis they'd both been in, he doubted that. They'd met up for lunch after everything settled down and had behaved as old friends. Something else was bothering her, and Riley was beginning to think she knew he was attempting to take things to another level. ...But he'd gotten that she was disappointed that all they could be were friends, before. So that didn't quite make sense.

Finally, her patience run out, Jenny pushed a spoonful of soft ice cream into her mouth and talked around the utensil, "Out with it."

"Huh?" Riley blinked, taken aback.

"You want to say something to me, what is it?" Riley gave a heavy sigh. He wasn't sure if he wanted Jenny to agree to coming with him and the admiral on this 'working vacation' of his or not. "Oh my god. Someone didn't die, did they? I'm sorry..."

The starfleet officer looked up with a wrinkled brow. _Did I really look like I was about to give her news that bad?_ Riley absently wrung his hair with his hands and Jenny shrank in her seat.

"Oh." She chagrined and looked away, figuring he was going to say he liked someone and it wasn't her.

Riley seemed to notice and sat up straight, "N-no... It's not that."

"Then what is it, Kevin? I'm a patient girl... well, when I need to be. But only for so long." Jenny smiled and Riley felt both a pang and a flutter. He didn't know what to make of that.

"Admiral Kirk is going on vacation. He wants me to pilot him to Centaurus, so I'll be gone for a couple of weeks."

"Oh, is that all?" Jenny relaxed completely. A couple of weeks to think over what was going on and how to figure where she and Kevin Riley stood would be perfect. "You know I like you, but I'm a big girl. I can get along without you for a couple of weeks." She was teasing him now, but the look on his face betrayed that there was more.

"He suggested you to come along. ...Actually, he insisted." And that was when Jenny Hogan's brain broke.

* * *

"I can't go."

"Is that what you told him?" Kav stirred her tea as she looked up at her boss and friend's face. Jenny shook her head. "Then why did you say you'd go?"

"And say no to the guy I have a thing for... make him say 'no' to his CO who happens to be an admiral and 'The James Kirk?'" The last was said with a flash of hands to outline the title. Jenny scrunched her face and fell onto her hand, leaning on the table. "I checked with Bob," the CEO of World News, "thinking he'd tell me I had too much work to do here at home and that I couldn't go."

Kav cut into her food, glancing up to reply, "And what did he say?"

Jenny gave a sarcastic grin. "_He_ insisted I had to go and try to get a story out of it in the process." Kav wrinkled her brow and smiled in sympathy.

"You have to go, now."

"I know... Only I can't." With that pout on her lower lip, Jenny looked nearly like jail-bait, not the twenty-eight year-old she was supposed to be.

"Why not? It sounds like you want to go. Kirk wants you to go. Maybe even this Riley guy wants you to go."

"Oh, I wish he did, but I have my doubts. He's got a lot to deal with without tossing me into the mix."

"So is that why?" Jenny wanted to say it was, but Orion women could be nearly as bad as empaths on picking up when you lie to them, thanks to their heightened pheromone senses. Kav knew better. "It's not, is it?"

Jenny smirked. "I can't tell you the details, but... Remember how I said that the job at World News was like a brand new life for me?" Kav nodded. "Well, it really is. There's a chance, a small one, but still there, that Admiral Kirk might recognize me from my old life... The people who gave me my new one don't want that to happen."

"Were you in Starfleet?" Jenny gave Kav a look. "Right, no details. Sorry. But even if he did recognize you, you could say you have a new life and leave it at that?"

"I wish it were that simple." And Jenny couldn't even explain how it wasn't. Too hush-hush.


	3. Four Light Years Away

Pulling the mousy-brown hair back into a ponytail, Jenny Hogan made a face in the mirror. She missed her ginger locks, but it was best that she avoid recognition by Riley's superior. She looked at her features and sighed. It would have to do. She felt like going on the trip was risking her new life, but at the same time, her job likely now depended on it... Plus, there was Kevin to consider. Though he was wary about inviting her, once she accepted, his face brightened quite a bit.

"Kevin." Jenny closed her eyes and sighed again. She'd been attracted to him, from the start. Despite trying to keep things to friendly flirtation, he'd seen his affect on her, that first lunch date. And, she'd noticed his furtive glances, when he'd gone to the studio for something Kirk had needed. The kidnapping, the swap... That'd deepened affections on both sides, though she'd thought that it was only her. After all, he was just coming out from a divorce. _Or, whatever it was._

"Be real, Jen. Divorce." Looking down at her luggage, she thought back to another trip, she'd taken. The luggage back then was huge, in comparison. Then again, that trip had turned out to be quite a bit longer. She'd been so nervous, back then. Those had been pretty big shoes to fill. That was a lifetime ago... "Stepping into the shadow of tragedy... Not again. Enough shadows, for you, missy." Jenny shut the lid and smirked at herself, blowing her bangs into a fan, "Talking to myself again."

* * *

Jim Kirk stood over his suitcase, as it sat on his desk. "I'm pretty sure I know how to pack for leave, Commander."

"Aye, sir. I'm sure you do, too. This is actually something different. Admiral Nogura wanted you to sign off on some press releases before we left dock." Riley handed over the small stack of PADDs.

Jim signed the PADDs then handed them back, "And your friend, did she confirm?" James Kirk closed up his luggage, which Riley took. They left the office and made their way to a transport to take them to spacedock.

Riley gave a half-hearted smile, "She had to see if she was free to go. The station said yes, so long as..." He hoped Kirk wouldn't be too upset.

"So long as I give another interview?"

"Both of us, actually."

"Ah. Makes sense, you being the hero of the day..." Kirk cast a glance to Riley, that certain aspects of what happened on Apollo Day did not make it to airwaves. Of course, Riley didn't need reminding, and it hurt a bit that his commanding officer thought it was needed. ...But then again, Riley had messed up on several things in the past month or so. The Irishman supposed he'd earned that glance.

"I've asked her to focus more on the overall story than our roles in it, sir. She didn't seem to be too bothered by the request. ...She's more of a producer for them than a journalist, anyway..." Riley felt a little strange talking about Jenny as he was. He'd hardly ever revealed his personal life to Admiral Kirk, even when they were on the Enterprise. Of course, back then, he hadn't known or remembered what James Kirk had done, saving his young life on Tarsus IV.

"Riley! The spacedock is this way, isn't it?" Kirk gave his chief of staff a concerned look, as they turned around and retraced their steps. "Did you have your coffee this morning?"

"No.. I mean, yes. Sorry, sir." Riley walked to the small personal transport, more of a cart, really. He settled the luggage in the back, and the admiral slid into the seat next to Riley, as he powered up the cart.

"Sure you don't want me to drive?" Kirk was kidding Riley, but the Irishman was taking it a bit too seriously. "Riley, it's a joke. You are up for this trip, aren't you? You could do with a little R and R."

"Aye, sir. I could." Riley offered Kirk a smile, and before long, they were crossing Headquarters, towards the spacedock. "I'm just a little nervous. Jenny... She's nice. I like her... but, we just met. It's a bit of a big step."

Kirk hummed, "You've been single for awhile, though. From what Nan said, she's a nice enough girl, upbeat. You don't have to marry the girl, Riley." Seeing the effect on his former navigator's face, Kirk grew pensive. "...I'm missing something, aren't I?"

Riley winced a bit. "I didn't want to bring it up, sir, but since you've asked... My marriage contract to Anab ended just before the change in command."

"Oh." Kirk's face went placid. Apt timing, seeing it was just as Lori Ciana had packed up and left, and given that Riley... But... "You were married?" Jim wished he'd not asked, the moment the words tumbled out his mouth.

It seemed not to bother Riley as much as Kirk thought, though. Riley followed the road, passing the skyline of San Francisco and a view of Starfleet Academy. "Yes... It's okay, sir." Though the last several months... It had counted for Riley, but had it counted in the big picture? Grasping at ghosts. He was sure he was done with that, now. "She went on tour about seven months ago, so..." It would be easy to miss that Riley was a married man. Correction; had been a married man.

"Rough. ...Are you going to be alright? I can get someone else to fly me to Centaurus." Or go alone, though Kirk was not wanting to be alone with his thoughts, at the moment.

"No... No, no, sir. That's alright. Besides, you've invited Miss Hogan." Kirk raised a brow at the sudden formality.

Kirk grinned at his glorified aide, "Afraid I'll put some moves on her?" He pouted at the darkened look that crossed Riley's face. "Commander, lighten up. ...You're really not in a joking mood, are you?"

Riley stopped the transport and gave a shy smile to the admiral. "It's just that it's been a long time since I had a new beginning." It was a bit daunting for the young man.

"We should toast to that, sometime. Don't let me forget," Kirk smiled back.

"Jenny should be here, or will be here soon." Riley took the bags from the transport and went about loading them into the shuttle. "I hope she's not lost." He felt his lips curl up as he realized he really did hope she wasn't. For as nervous as he felt, he was excited to have a chance to spend time with her.

"I seem to have found her," answered Kirk. He saw the petite brunette carrying her luggage and went to meet her. Despite Riley having carried the admiral's bag, Kirk was a gentleman and insisted on taking Hogan's bag. "You didn't walk all this way, did you?"

Jenny handed the bag over, "There's a public shuttle from the Academy. Apparently there's a campus on Luna?" That was news to Hogan.

"Ah, yes. They put that in a few years ago." Kirk handed off the bag to Riley, before the lieutenant commander had a chance to get out from the shuttle. Jenny smiled and peeked Riley's way, but then returned her attention to the admiral, who extended his hand, "James Kirk."

"Admiral," Jenny shook the man's hand, amused by the old-fashioned greeting. She held his eye for a moment, an old memory scratching the back of her mind.

"Jim. Please call me 'Jim'." The former redhead smiled brightly at Kirk's charm.

"Alright, then, Jim. Jenny Hogan. Don't you dare call me 'Miss Hogan,' now." She gave a wink, but then looked confused when Kirk chuckled. "I'm sorry?"

"Don't be. Riley, shall we be off?"

"Aye, sir!" came the Irishman's voice from inside the shuttle. "Let me input the course into the shuttle's navcom."

Jenny climbed in and settled into the chair. She looked around the shuttle, taking in the sight and smell of the place.

"First time flying?" Kirk noted he hoped she wouldn't need a hypo to prevent motion sickness.

Jenny shook her head. It was a bit nostalgic, really. "No... It's just been a long time since I've been off planet."

"Oh? Anywhere of note?" Kirk was really just trying to make good atmosphere for the long trip. He hadn't calculated that there might be an awkward air between his secretary and the World News producer. She did look a bit off, at that question.

"Well... I'm sure it's no where of note to an explorer... oh, excuse me... explorers, such as yourselves." Jenny Hogan, had, of course, found out that Kirk and Riley had both served together on the Enterprise.

Riley listened to Kirk and Jenny Hogan talk in the back. He wanted to say hello to Jenny, but now that they were underway, there was a knot in the pit of his stomach. The guilt over Anab was not so much there anymore, and the worry over risk had left him... He just was unsure how to proceed, regarding this new young woman who had entered his life. He silently wished confidence came to him as easily as it did the admiral. Of course, he could always pretend he was Kirk, in approaching Jenny, but the mere idea boggled him. No. No, that would not do one bit. Facing Klingons like Kirk was one thing, bravado was something else completely. "Sir, shall we take one pass around?"

"Why not? Jenny, you have to see this. The most beautiful woman in the universe... Well, yourself and my wife, Lori, excepted." Jenny smiled quietly, her eyes turning into crecent moons.

As they left Earth's atmosphere, they passed the Enterprise, still being worked on at Spacedock 4. Jenny put her nose up to the porthole and looked at the ship Riley and Kirk had been assigned to for five years prior. "She's beautiful..." was all the producer said, but it was said with such care that it took both the admiral and his aide aback.

"Careful. That's how Starfleet sucks you in," noted Kirk, with a chuckle. "But I did warn you." Jenny nodded, still taking in the view. The Enterprise was undergoing a refit. Part of the ship had just finished being worked on, planet-side. They'd brought both saucer section and nacelles in to the mid-section. The old girl looked almost herself, and nearly as new as the day she'd made her maiden voyage.

Riley afforded a glance back at the cabin, then. He blinked at Jenny's brown hair and frowned. Why did she color her hair? Did it mean something? He had liked her red hair.

"Something wrong, Riley?" Kirk looked between the two young adults. "Don't tell me _you_ need the hypo?"

"No, sir. I'm fine." Riley sat back in the pilot's chair and noted that coordinates had been verified, "Ready for warp on your command, Admiral." Jenny pouted a bit at the tone of Riley's voice. She'd never heard it so guarded before.

Kirk settled back in his chair. "Take her out, Riley. Warp Two."

"Aye, sir. Warp Two." The stars streaked around them as they left the solar system. Jenny felt brown eyes on her, and not the pair she'd have wished, nor in the way she needed. She peeked back at James Kirk, who asked her, "Have we met, actually? You seem familiar."

Jenny blushed, "I get that, sometimes. I'm pretty sure we haven't met, Admi-...Jim." _At least, not in this lifetime._ She hoped the blush she felt in her cheeks was taken for bashfulness.

Riley squirmed a bit in his seat. He knew Admiral Kirk was on rendezvous to meet with Admiral Ciana. Riley shouldn't be jealous of Kirk making small talk with Jenny. Even realizing that he was just made him brood that much more. Did they have to get along that well?


	4. Lukewarm Welcome

Admiral Kirk seemed to have taken to World News producer Jenny Hogan well enough to carry an enjoyable conversation. She asked him every now and again some questions, some of which were for the record and some of course, not so much. She seemed to cue in when he was ready for some reflective thought or at least some rest. It was only after she'd gone to sit and talk with Riley that Kirk had realized her attentive nature. Of course, she was a producer and in some ways, acted as an aide to Nan Doris. Jenny Hogan must have picked it up at World News, or else, they'd seen a natural streak in her.

Jenny swiveled the chair next to Riley and sat down, "Hope you don't mind some company?"

Riley shook his head. He looked up from the helm controls and smiled at Jenny, "Admiral Kirk didn't get you talked out, did he?"

"No... But maybe I talked him out a bit. Sorry..." She ducked her head a bit and ignored the bit of fatigue in her throat. Perhaps Kirk did wear her out just a little.

"It's going to be awhile yet, before we get to the system... Want to see how the controls work?" To be honest, Riley wasn't sure what to talk about. He didn't want conversation to get too deep, even if Admiral Kirk was dozing in the cabin.

Jenny hesitated only a moment, before she gave a nod, "Sure..." Riley took the hesitation to mean she wasn't really interested in the controls, but all the same, Jenny arched forward to listen and look at the miniature helm lesson.

"This gage over here is life-support. As you can see, we have plenty of air and water, as well as a rations rehydration system. This is our drive. Basically, you control the warp factor and thrusters with this lever... And, over here are the navigation controls." Riley's mouth instinctively perked as he talked about course settings, charts, and the navcom. He could talk on all day about the intricacies of proper navigation.

Jenny grinned, "So, that's your baby."

Riley blushed at the observation and smiled up at her. "My... baby?"

Jenny nodded with a grin, "Your eyes began to dance. I dunno. I just might get jealous."

"Yeah... Well," Riley cleared his throat and noted how far Jenny had leaned forward. "Well... I was in navigation mostly, um... before... And I taught navigation at Starfleet Academy..."

Jenny made a little sound in her throat and cast a half-lidded gaze at the chief of staff. "Ooh, you never mentioned being a professor."

Kevin Riley's blush deepened, and he nearly felt like a fish, as his mouth opened and closed, then opened again. "Uh... Well... Yeah, I suppose I was..." His breathing deepened, seeing as Jenny's face was just inches from his. So close that he could point out the grey border of her green eyes, with flecks of blue within, and the way the cockpit's light outlined her elfin chin and jawline. In the back of his mind, he considered the situation as well as the admiral's proximity. ...In his chair, he found himself in some ways uncomfortable. "More... More a teacher, like G'dath."

Jenny pouted and pulled back, "G'dath..?" For a Klingon, he was alright. Heck. For your everyday person, G'dath was outstanding... but sexy he wasn't. Unfortunately for this situation, Jenny was a pretty visual person. Riley's brows shot up apologetically as he realized instead of cooling the mood just a bit, it pretty much became cold as a dead fish. For her part, Jenny turned her face away from the Irishman. She had enjoyed flirting with him, perhaps too much. It was like playing with fire, especially after the talk she'd been given concerning the young aide. Besides... If he knew, would he still have even the slightest spark of interest?

Riley glimpsed something vulnerable in the way Jenny looked outside at the star field as it streaked by. "Jenny." He'd affected her somehow. When she looked back at him, he cracked a lopsided smile. "M'glad you're along for the trip." That seemed to brighten her mood, for which Kevin Riley was very thankful. He'd done enough brooding for the both of them and perhaps the admiral as well, earlier. He reached out and touched a lock of her hair, appreciating the flush of color to her cheeks. "It's nice... I admit... I liked the red, but... I think this could grow on me."

Jenny didn't even skip a beat, "Well, if it grew on you, it'd be brown to begin with." She then crossed her eyes and stuck out her tongue. They both laughed a bit, and this time, when they looked into each other's eyes, the same feeling danced between them.

"Get-a-room..." came a mumbled reply from the admiral, who was half-asleep. They peeked back at James Kirk, who had managed to sprawl out over the cot, seeming more like an overgrown toddler than a man on the cusp of middle age. To Riley, it was not an unknown sight. Kirk had always been the type to play hard and sleep harder, once he'd allowed himself. Riley and Jenny looked back at each other again and laughed quietly, this time. The World News producer pulled out a book from her satchel and read, while Kevin Riley adjusted course due to a change in the sector that hadn't been in the shuttle's star charts.

All in all, it wasn't the worst beginning for a vacation.

* * *

Within a few hours, they came about Alpha Centauri system. The triple sun system had been brought into balance by advanced technology prior to human habitation. The secrets of the terraformed planet of Centaurus had left with whomever had negotiated the system. As for Centaurus, itself, it hung in space like a blue and green marble, swirls of clouds feathering its atmosphere. Unlike Earth, however, most of the planet's surface held no visible evidence of continents. The planet had long ago distributed volcanic islands, indicative of its violent past. More recently, Federation scientists, colonists, and the native population had invested in fattening the shorelines of more popular island chains, harvesting materials from a nearby asteroid belt in the system. The skiffs that mined the belt made routine visits, to and fro, between Centaurus and the mines. "Have you ever been to Centaurus, Jenny?" asked Riley.

The newly brunette girl gave him a smile, "It's been ages, but yes. I came here with my father, as a child. We went to Gaiata Pera, in the Southen Hemisphere. They have one of the best shores for surfing, and they're not far away from the Serpentine Reef, if you like diving." Kevin Riley ducked his head at that. "What is it? Don't tell me you don't know how to dive..."

Riley shook his head, "I don't even know how to swim."

Jenny boggled, "And they never taught you in Starfleet?" That took her by complete surprise.

"Oh, it used to be required, but the year before I entered the Academy, it was made an elective. I was too busy doubling in astrophysics to bother with it." Riley shrugged. It wasn't a big deal to him. Starships were meant to fly, not swim through oceans.

It took a moment for Jenny to pull out of her stupor. She wasn't going to argue with the man, but she did have to point out, "We're going to a planet that is eighty-five percent water. You almost need gills for the air as much as the sea..."

"I can stick to the beach," was Riley's reply. Jenny pouted at the statement. Kevin Riley shifted in his seat, "We're getting approval to land in New Florida. ...Could you wake the admiral, please?"

Jenny smirked and fought rolling her eyes, "Sure." She left the cockpit and pouted. Jim Kirk was curled up with his arms wrapped around a pillow clung close to his face. "Goddamn, he's like a kitten. How'm I supposed to wake him up?" The question was more rhetorical, however, and Jenny spent the next two minutes playing tug-of-war with a half-asleep admiral over his pillow. "Admiral Kirk... Jim. ...James T. Kirk, you wake up right this minute, so help me!"

Kevin Riley blinked and looked back at the scene. Jenny had wrestled the pillow out from Kirk's arms, but the effort left her sprawled on the cabin floor. Kirk was wiping at his eyes, "Mom?" Riley did his best but failed to hold back a snicker. Jenny threw the pillow towards the back of his chair, along with a raspberry. Kirk scowled, "Hey, no pillow fights. I have a reputation to uphold." Thankfully, Riley had his back turned when he rolled his eyes. "Commander Riley, what's our ETA?"

"We're cleared for landing, Admiral. Please make sure your cot is in its folded position and that you both are in your seats, that they are locked in their upright position and that all personal items are stowed away." That was more for Jenny's sake than Kirk's, which both of them figured.

Kirk raised a brow at Jenny's frown as she settled in, "Was it something I said?"

* * *

Waiting for them at the spaceport was Admiral Lori Ciana. Though named for Florida, Riley remarked that the place seemed more like Hawaii, to him. Not that he'd been, but the port was decked in floral garlands and arrangements. Only the music was different and nothing Terran about it. Still, it was very relaxing and fluid, something one would expect at a resort. Riley gathered the bags and put them on a cart, not allowing Jenny to help him with them, and of course, certainly not asking Kirk to help. Jim Kirk went straight to Lori Ciana, to meet her with a grin. Lori's eyes twinkled and she met her husband with a hug and a kiss. "That was unexpected," noted Kirk.

Lori shook her head, "I can't believe it. Jim Kirk not expecting the unexpected." They both chuckled about it. The blonde woman peeked past her husband and took in the sight of his aide and another woman, "I didn't realize you were bringing guests..."

"All the other flights were booked. I didn't want to fly by myself and Riley deserves the time off. As does Jenny Hogan. She was one of the people involved with the Klingon incident..." Jim Kirk frowned, "Is that a problem? We can book them some rooms far from ours."

Lori was still looking at the other two, how Kevin Riley and Jenny Hogan were getting along. Currently, they were teasing each other and laughing. She looked back to Jim, "I hope it won't be. I can't say for other island chains, but there's a festival going on, so all the hotels here are pretty full."

Kirk raised a brow, "Well... Let's see what can be done, then." He directed Riley to take the bags up to the spaceport hotel and Ciana's suite for the time being, including Riley's and Jenny Hogan's luggage. Admiral Ciana gave Riley the room number and access code. Jim gave Lori a quick kiss on the cheek, "I'll be right up." He had a twinkle in his eye that showed he'd work a deal out, come hell or high water.

Jenny was about to follow Riley and Kirk, when Admiral Ciana asked her to be some company. "I was just going to go to the café for a drink. Care to join me?" Riley looked back at the perplexed producer and gave her a small smile, before heading towards the lifts. Jenny tore her gaze from Riley and gave Ciana a nod.

"Yes-s, ma'am." Ciana raised a brow at Jenny, but said nothing. They left the spaceport and walked along the boardwalk. New Florida was at mid-day under Centaurus A, with the smaller sun, Centaurus B, like a small orange hanging lower in the sky. Proxima was barely detectable as a red pinprick high in the sky. Ciana directed them to a café and the two women sat down at a table on the walk. "I'm sorry, if you had other expectations, Admiral Ciana. I'm sure Kevin and I will do our best not to be in the way."

Lori smiled a bit at Jenny and remained quiet, until the waitress left them, "Let's hope not, then. I hope you're right, but I have to wonder. What was Jim thinking, bringing along Kevin Riley and company?"

Jenny gave a broken smile, "He insisted. ...I think he must have been worried about Kevin, with what happened..."

"Hmm," was Lori's reply. "It's not like Commander Riley to slip up like that. To overlook such a detail, though he managed himself very well in getting everyone back safely. Jim was helpful too, of course. If Admiral Kirk hadn't shown up in that ancient shuttle, then Riley would have died and the Klingons would have hold of new technology that would breach the balance of power in the quadrant."

Jenny blinked at the female admiral. "Well, thank goodness that didn't happen. And everyone is very thankful to the admiral, especially Kevin. He was very distraught, after what happened."

"He was distraught _through_ what happened, Miss _Hogan_." Jenny blushed. So, Lori Ciana knew who she was. That made sense enough. Kirk must have mentioned her in passing, given the connection with World News... But, actually, that would only make sense had he told Lori they were showing up-which Lori had claimed he hadn't. "I see the cogs moving in your head, Jenny. Yes, I know _who you are_."

Jenny paled at the tone Ciana used in that sentence. The admiral gave a slow nod.

"Thirty minutes ago, special section contacted me and informed me of your affiliation with the lieutenant commander. Moreover, they informed me that you have ignored their _direct_ orders, in violation of the temporal prime directive." The drinks arrived, and Ciana thanked the waitress, pushing Jenny's piña colada over to her. "I suggest that after your drink, you book the next flight home, Miss Hogan."

It was all Jenny could do, to wrap her hands around the cold drink. "How can I disobey orders when I was forced to resign?" She looked up at Lori, "I disagree that I'm going against regulations, anyway. There's no proof."

"If Riley did not become involved with you, he would not have been so distracted between his recent divorce and his job. With you in the mix, it was no wonder he slipped up. Thank god you didn't have your eyes set on Jim." That earned Lori a glare from the producer, which the cool blonde shrugged off easily. "He would have directed proper measures and the Klingons would never have beamed down to take hostages and Doctor G'dath."

Jenny frowned, "If I had not interacted with Kevin Riley, he would have been fired for being late and forgetting the PADD Admiral Kirk needed when meeting with Nan Davis."

Ciana shook her head. "Someone else would have. Or, yes, Riley would have been discharged from Starfleet or reassigned... but it would have been upon his action, not _yours_. What if he was meant reassignment? You could have changed our future already by that small action."

"There's no way to know that," argued Jenny. "I agreed to leave Starfleet, because of this concern, but I have never agreed that it's a logical one. It's not reasonable that I should live as mundane a life as possible. I've gone out of my way to avoid mishaps and causing any sort of trouble for anyone."

"Oh, go tell that to someone who doesn't know any better. You know as well as I do, what one person, added or taken away from their destiny, can do." Jenny was trembling, now, as she attempted to sip at her drink. "And, don't you dare cry. You're an officer, even if you are retired."

Jenny put some credits down for her drink and stood up with her fists clenched by her side, "You're right. You can take the girl out of the Fleet, but you can't take the Fleet out of the girl. ...Can I at least tell Kevin goodbye?"

Ciana's gaze shifted from the cold, hard look of an admiral to one of feminine compassion. "Of course. ...Don't give him details, but I'm sure you can figure something out."


	5. Close Comforts

Riley made it down to the lobby of the hotel, just in time to meet Admiral Kirk. "Everything's settled in, sir. Miss Hogan's luggage and mine are, for now, in the living area. Sorry for the trouble, sir."

That made James Kirk laugh. "Trouble? I insisted that you both come along. How could it be trouble at all?" He gave Riley a look. Jim knew that the young man was still concerned about his failure to provide adequate security for G'dath. The past, however, couldn't be changed. Riley would need to learn from his mistakes and apply them to the present and when the future came, then too. "Though..."

Riley's eyebrows lifted. "Sir?"

"I was only able to book one more suite. It's one bedroom. There's a living area, though... Will that be a problem?" Kirk barely even glanced at the surprise and blush undoubtedly failing to hide behind that beard of Riley's. "Good. Not a problem, then."

If Riley wasn't aware of the festival that was mentioned, he'd wonder if Kirk did it on purpose. He still may have. The Irishman fought himself again to run a hand through his hair. Both men turned to see Lori Ciana and Jenny Hogan arrive from the airport entrance of the hotel. Kirk took Ciana's hand and she smiled up to him. Jenny clasped her hands behind her back and looked around the hotel. Riley canted his head and frowned a bit. He'd hoped to have met Jenny's eyes with his, and now she seemed lightyears away. Why?

"Take care, you two," said Lori.

Jim smiled and bade farewell to his aide and Hogan, before following Lori up. "We'll have the luggage moved over... Enjoy Centaurus." The tone in Kirk's voice suggested that it might be awhile before the desk was called to take the luggage away, however.

Jenny painted on a smile and waved to Kirk and Ciana, as they left. Riley frowned at his new friend and came over to her, which finally forced her to look him in the eye. His voice was quiet, "What's wrong?"

Jenny dropped the false demeanor as soon as Kirk and Ciana were out of sight. She cracked a sad smile, "Lots... Oh, Kevin..." She ducked her head and then shook it. She needed to be strong and mature about this. What Ciana asked of her was harder than she realized, once the moment came. Her stomach was in such knots that she was thankful she hadn't eaten just yet. "I..." Riley touched her shoulder, and Jenny looked up with wet eyes. "I have to go back."

"World News give you a call?" Riley wasn't happy hearing it, either... but he understood. Jenny had a job to do, the same as anyone else. At least, his hope was that it was work-related. Worry started to seep in, but for the moment, he did his best to ignore it.

The producer shook her head, "No... I wish it was a simple thing. I need to tell you... There's so much I want to tell you... Just..." This time, Riley squeezed Jenny's shoulder. He could tell that she was visibly shaken by whatever had convinced her of this action. It wasn't something she agreed with, and if she had, perhaps he'd be more inclined to let it go, at that. She needed his reassurance, is what he got out of it.

Riley looked into Jenny's eyes and softly spoke to her with the reassurance he felt she needed, "It's okay. I trust you." Jenny's brows raised and she felt so much for him right then. "Whatever it is... you tell me when you're able to, never before... And, we'll... just have to take a rain check. Actually..." Riley smiled a bit... Kirk would understand, and well... "The admiral only needed me to bring him here. I don't have to stay, either..." But then it occurred to him that perhaps Jenny didn't want to get close so soon, chancing a rebound on his part. "Unless... I'm why you need to go back."

Jenny furrowed her brow, not in anger, but in pain for both their sakes... because that's what it was, wasn't it? The people at special section didn't have a problem with Jenny being on Centaurus. They had a problem with her befriending someone in Starfleet, especially someone close to the admiralty. Too many variables. They wouldn't trust her... But, Riley did, implicitly. She could see that, now. The look on her face betrayed what Riley thought was the truth.

"That 's it, isn't it? You're not..." Riley sighed and looked away, even stepping away from Jenny with his hands clenched. He thought of how things ended with Anab. He hadn't even told his wife—well, ex-wife—what he'd been through as a boy on Tarsus. With Anab, he'd clung onto her as long as he could, even coaxing her to keep to their marriage contract while she was in deep space. Yet, he hadn't opened up to her and let her in. Somehow, perhaps because Jenny already knew about Tarsus, he was able to open up to her. When she'd put herself in danger for the schoolkids, he'd felt so much pride and care for her. He'd understood she was quickly becoming someone important to him. _I can't make the same mistakes with Jenny as I did with Anab._ "I won't let my past get in the way of a chance with you. I promise."

Jenny put her hands over her mouth and forced back the emotions that came with Riley's admission. His words sunk in so deep, she recalled aspects of her life she'd thought dead and buried. It had been several years since she'd known anyone that would be so affirming with conviction to friendship, to say such a thing. As well, with Riley putting his past aside for her, how could Jenny Hogan not do the same for him, especially given that she disagreed with Starfleet's assessment of her condition. She gave a stern glance to the direction Ciana and Kirk had gone. Jenny took Riley's hand into a strong grip with hers and nodded at him with a quivered lip. "Same. I promise." How could she not?

Riley turned back and gave Jenny a tiny smile, which grew until it fit from ear to ear. The moment's tension released with some deep breaths, and they gave let out some emotional laughs, together. Kevin Riley swung their joined hands about with his arm. "Okay, then. So... we going back to Earth, or staying here?"

"Let's stay here." Not that it was any business of Ciana's, but Jenny decided it was right to at least set that admiral straight. Even if Riley, for all his intentions and determination, should be rebounding with her, Jenny thought it to be their decision, something that shouldn't be dictated by any part of Starfleet, the Federation, or frankly anyone else, for that matter. She only hoped that Lori Ciana would be willing to listen, and she also hoped to get approval to clue Kevin in. She had a pit in her stomach for keeping her past from him, now. It was one thing, when they were merely flirting, but he'd taken her hand, now. And, she'd seen that he'd changed how he behaved, ever since the hostage situation.

The laughter died down and the two friends were left smiling at each other. Riley blushed, as he remembered something. Jenny canted her head. "What is it?"

"Admiral Kirk was only able to get us one suite. There's two rooms... I'll sleep on the couch, so um... don't worry." Riley smiled and looked away, his turn to suddenly not able to look Jenny in the eye.

Jenny chuckled, "Why? Is there something I should be worried about?" Riley just blushed even more. Jenny tugged on his hand, "We'll flip a coin for the couch. You can be chivalrous with doors. I remember some places having doors on hinges, on this planet." She just loved teasing him.

"Fine. I'll let the doors take the bed," was his response. It took a moment for Jenny to get that off-beat joke, and when she did, she smacked Riley's arm lightly. He laughed with his mouth wide in a smile. _That look suits him_, Jenny thought.

* * *

"You were in quite the hurry to leave them," Jim noted with a grin, as he pulled his wife close. Lori nestled into his hold, and it felt nearly like all those months they'd drifted apart had been a bad nightmare, only... Maybe she'd be the old Lori, and he'd be the old Jim, soon enough. "You were right, Lori... I need to be back in the stars, again." He buried his face in waves of blonde hair, taking in Lori's scent. God, he'd missed her. "I'll talk to Nogura... There must be some way to get back on ship. It works for the Yorktown."

"See. You should listen to me, more often, Jim. Ah... Yes, well. Nogura didn't have much to do with the Yorktown being commanded by an admiral." Lori smiled up at him and changed the subject back to something more personal, "And, can you blame me for wanting to monopolize your time?"

"No. No, I can't blame you at all." James Kirk combed his fingers through his wife's hair, while she cupped his face and brought him home into a kiss. Soon enough, his aide and the producer he'd invited along were the furthest things from his mind. His wife was his world, and the only thing that could take him away from that world was being refitted in orbit around Earth. That kiss, that sweet kiss that he'd longed for, led to more. Soon there were more kisses and less clothes, as husband and wife shared the tenderness they each had needed so much.

* * *

Riley opened the door to the suite and looked around. His eyes widened and his head felt a bit dazed. "...This isn't quite what the admiral described." When James Kirk had said there would be a bedroom and a living area, Kevin had imagined the bedroom walled off from the living area. "It's like ship quarters. Nicely decorated, slightly larger ship quarters, but..." Against the far wall was a king-sized bed with mosquito netting (more for decor, really) and two end tables on either side. Light poured in from outside in small windows over the tables. In front of the bed was a couch and coffee table, as well as an oversized chair. There was a small kitchenette as well, but there was only one room.

Jenny peeked in around Riley and bit her lip. "Cozy."

Riley's eyes flitted about, unsure what this meant for them. "Yeah. Sorry..."

"You keep apologizing." Jenny gave a squeeze to Riley's shoulder and slipped around him and into the room. "We're lucky to get this, from what Admiral Ciana said... Let's just be thankful Jim came through. Yeah?" She could tell Riley was worried. No matter what he'd say, she understood he was coming out from a failed marriage. He had a right to be nervous. And then, there was her own situation to consider. Jenny wanted to keep their time at Centaurus upbeat and enjoyable. The less drama, the better.

"Yeah," smiled Riley. He just felt like things might be a bit... rushed, was all. Though, he had to admit to himself, Jenny was not pushing things, so it wasn't exactly all awkwardness and anxiety. "Something tells me we won't be seeing our luggage for awhile. I'd like to take a nap, after flying, but if you want to look around, we can meet up later or you can come back after a little while." They each had each other's codes, after all, so there wouldn't be any trouble coordinating.

Jenny smiled and gave a nod, "That sounds great. Give me a call if you wake up early." She paused at the door and grinned back at him, "I think swimming lessons are in order, though." She giggled when she saw Kevin's face pale. "Baby steps. I won't let you in so deep you can't handle things."

Riley had a feeling Jenny meant more to that than just the level of water in the pool.


	6. Treasure Map

Lori pulled away from her husband's restful body. She slipped out from the covers and into a silk robe. She pushed a button next to the food repository. "Coffee." The machine worked for a moment, then presented a coffee within. Lori fetched it and brought it with her into the suite's office. Shutting the door behind, she logged the terminal in, requesting Centaurus space port authority. "Yes, hello. Lori Ciana." She flicked through the news, frowning at the articles of speculation on war with the Klingons. That mess was avoidable. A heroic ending helped only so much. "Yes: Admiral Ciana. Yes, I was wondering if you could help me. ...Yes, I was wanting to know what flight a friend of mine was on. I can't seem to reach her. ...Oh, I'm not sure when she was heading out. Right. Jenny Hogan. Yes, I'll wait." Ciana sipped her coffee and thought back. It was only a matter of time before Jim recognized Jenny. She honestly wasn't sure how he might react. Good thing Hogan was on her way ho...me... "Are you sure? What about 'Jennifer Hogan?'" Lori put her coffee down and thanked the communications officer, before calling up the front desk.

"Yes, this is Admiral Ciana." No pleasantries, this time. "I was wondering. My husband rented a suite for his aide. Could you confirm when Mister Riley checked in, please?" Not liking what she heard, Lori muttered under her breath. This was supposed to be a vacation, dammit. _Heaven and stars help Jenny Hogan now, for lying and blatantly disregarding regulation._ "Thank you." Lori Ciana next requested the communications officer at the port authority to patch her in with Admiral Nogura. The blonde was not looking forward to this discussion one bit.

Jim Kirk rolled over and reached for his wife, who was not there, all nice and toasty warm. He lifted his head and groaned. "Lori?" The once-captain of the _Enterprise_ pushed himself up on an elbow and looked around. Everything felt in place and alright. Of course, Riley and Hogan's luggage hadn't moved. "Ah. Damn." He'd completely lost care, for some reason. Jim pulled himself up from bed and went to find his wife.

"No, it's fine. I'll see it done. I should go." Ciana signed out after Nogura closed the call.

Jim peeked in, "See what done?"

"Just some last minute business." Lori smiled and stood, so she could snuggle into Jim's arms. Kirk enveloped her with them, nuzzling and kissing small flicked kisses about her neck and cheeks. "Are we going to even see Centaurus?" she giggled.

"What's there to see?" Jim grinned at his wife, then noted, "Though we probably should send the luggage down to Riley's suite."

_Some of that luggage should have gone back to Earth_, Lori contemplated. At least Admiral Nogura gave her some leverage to consider. If Hogan was going to be bull-headed, there was still Riley to deal with. Considering who Jenny Hogan was, Lori was pretty sure she'd fold the moment Riley would put things on ice. When Jim left her in the office, Lori gave a drawn-out sigh. Why did Jim have to invite this into their marriage, anyway? But, that wasn't fair to him. It wasn't Jim's fault at all. It was _hers_. The port authority communications officer was earning his credits' worth, today. When the man came on, Lori gave her request, "Patch me through to the _Starhawk_."

* * *

Kevin Riley had woken up almost an hour ago. He laid in bed, doing absolutely nothing. It was the most wonderful thing, in some ways. Unlike the time he had wallowed in self-pity and doubt, after his wedding contract to Anab had expired, he felt oddly tranquil. He turned on his side, and this time, he noticed the folded sheet of paper standing like a tent, on the end table. Riley pushed himself up and picked up the note. Handwritten in pen was something jotted down by Jenny Hogan, "Dinner on the beach? Here are some landmarks to help you find your way there, Mister Navigator." Kevin's lips curled into a smile. Never mind that he wasn't in navigation any longer, but Jenny had been right. It was his baby.

"Dinner on the beach, it is." Riley just hoped he hadn't left Jenny waiting with cold dinner. The note had old school directions, like the times before positioning systems were available. Thankfully, Riley was well-versed in the ancient ways of navigation. He enjoyed the landmark hunt and appreciated the choices. The first was an old beverage market whose wall was painted sky blue. Some street artists had painted a mural with graffiti of some alien language or another worked into it. Kevin Riley took a moment to appreciate it, before he walked to the next place. Of all things, it was a Greek family restaurant. They invited him in for dinner, but he explained he was off to find his friend, who had dinner waiting for him. They would not let him go without some pastries to share and a story to tell. Riley stopped at the playground, which was empty at this time of day. He wondered what Jenny had thought, putting it on the road map. Something told Riley to linger, crawl into Jenny's mind somehow, in this playground. Figure it out for himself. Riley felt the crunch of wood chips underfoot as he looked across the yard. He doubted it was something as simple as wanting children. Maybe she was barren? But there were genetic treatments, so the condition was treatable. It could be that she was reminding him of what they'd both faced, when the Klingons took hostages at the school, before. Eventually, Riley wandered back to the directions given. Soon, he saw the palm trees that matched the drawing at the end of the note.

Waiting underneath the tall palms was Jenny Hogan, wearing a summer dress and holding an old-fashioned picnic basket. When she saw Riley, her face lit up. He came by and waved the note she'd left him. Jenny cocked her head to one side, "Did you like my little game?"

He smiled, "Yeah. There something about the landmarks you picked?"

"Hmm. Maybe. Then again, sometimes life throws things randomly at you, and it's the interpretation that ends up counting, in the end." Riley seemed to consider what Hogan said, then offered his hand to her. She took it with a smile and led him over to a patch of beach, where she'd setup a heating rock and some picnic blankets. There were some cold bottles stuck in the sand as well. Overhead, the sky resembled in many ways the stars, as seen from Earth. The positioning was such that, of course, the Centaur constellation was missing one of its points. As well, there was Proxima hanging in the night sky, like a red LED light too bored to taunt a pet cat. Centaurus B was also still in the sky, giving a soft glow brighter than Earth's moon, but not enough to shine as daylight hours. Centaurus did have a moon, but it tended to be around during the daytime more than night, depending on the season.

Riley reclined on one of the blankets and looked over to Jenny, "Are you saying I've been randomly thrown your way? Or you were thrown my way?"

Jenny looked over to the Irishman, "I don't know. What I do know is that you woke me up, walking up to me that morning. You were so desperate and at the end of your rope. You broke my heart into pieces, just looking at you." Jenny gave a small smile, when she saw Riley look down bashfully. "I enjoy my life at World News. I do... But, it felt like I was living day to day... never really connecting to anyone."

Kevin Riley nodded, "Yeah. I felt that way, too. ...But I wasn't ready to. I wanted to be with my wife again so badly, connect with _her_ again... I'd convinced myself that if I just waited patiently, she'd come back home, and we'd pick up where we left off." He looked back at Jenny, wondering if his frankness would make her tear up. She looked at him with compassion and understanding, and a softness he'd come to appreciate.

"Waiting. Yeah. I think that's it. Waiting for a change to happen, where life goes the way you'd hope." Jenny's voice caught on the last word, and it hung in the air like the last note strummed in a sad song. Kevin took Jenny's hand and wrapped it in both of his. He gave her an encouraging smile. Jenny put her free hand over Kevin's. "We gave each other our promise, today. I'm going to do my best to keep my end of it." Kevin nodded. "I know your past, but you don't know mine. I can't share much... but you deserve to know what I can tell you."

Kevin Riley wondered what it was that haunted his new friend so much. He was almost afraid to ask. "You're not going to make me guess, are you?"

Jenny cracked a smile and shook her head once, "No. No guessing. When I was younger, something happened to me. An accident. Because of this accident, I've had to live my life very carefully. I guess you could say, I had to start over... Like old America's witness protection."

"Is someone looking for you? Are you in danger?" asked Riley, with concern awash in his voice. He wanted to hold Jenny close, protect her from whatever meant her ill.

The former redhead shook her head, "No. At least, I don't think so. ...What happened... It involves Starfleet. ...The people who gave me a new life..." Jenny took her hands back and put them in her lap. "They don't want me involved with anyone in Starfleet."

Well, that was that. Riley looked at Jenny for awhile, then looked up at the softlit evening sun. "Are you asking me to resign?"

Jenny looked back with alarm at Kirk's aide. "No. No, don't you dare. You saved people's lives. You're right where you should be." Her gaze only faltered at the end.

Riley frowned as he realized, "You aren't so sure about yourself..."

Jenny gave a shakey nod, then admitted, "...The nature of what happened. I'll never be sure if I'm where I should be." There was that vulnerability again, Riley saw. Jenny hugged her legs and peered into the night sky. "I am sure of one thing, though. I want to be here, with you. Even if we're just... friends. I'm okay with that." Kevin could see that she wanted more, though, the way her voice got throaty and nearly choked on the words. Was she trying to convince him or herself?

Kevin reached out and brushed back Jenny's hair, before pulling her close and kissing the top of her head. "You're where you should be, lass."


	7. Sway

Lori sat at the dresser, pinning earrings into her lobes. She'd already done her hair and gotten changed into an elegant and flowing dress of caribbean blue. Jim Kirk leaned down and kissed her neck and shoulder. Lori smiled at her husband through the reflection of the dresser mirror. "Don't even start, Jim Kirk. We need to eat, and if we're to get dinner, we should have a fun time out and about."

"I'm just trying to make up for lost time. Besides, who needs to eat?" Jim grinned as Lori smacked his arm, but it was when his stomach growled that both husband and wife chuckled.

Lori's brows shot up as she poked him lightly in his midsection, "There. Your stomach, at least, agrees with me. You should listen to that part of your anatomy more, Admiral."

Jim smiled at the way Lori's eyes danced. "Aye-aye, Admiral." Once they were both ready, they left the hotel suite and set about a leisurely tour of the island coast. "I feel a bit out of place. We're dressed for a formal gig, and most everyone else is in tacky florals and cargo pants."

Lori laughed, "It'll be alright, once we get to the restaurant. It's themed. I just know you'll love it, Jim."

It was Kirk's time for his brows to lift, "We're not going to New Florida Skies?"

Lori shook her head and snugged Jim's arm to her. "Nope. You'll just have to wait and see." She felt a bit of their old passion rekindle, the way that Kirk's eagerness returned. Had it only been so in the bedroom, Lori would have been a bit worried, but to see him interested in the plans she'd made for them... It was a good sign. For the moment, she could relax and not let work come inbetween her husband and herself. Just the two of them, tonight.

They turned the corner and arrived to the resaurant, which was on stilts, due to its proximity to the beach. Going up the wooden steps, Kirk appreciated the tooled artisan craftsmanship of the building. It even had nails holding it together. "Are the nails real?" At that point, Jim stopped and looked up, "They're playing big band..." He'd only seen big band in a holographic representation. The approximation was very close, but Jim had always wanted to hear a concert live. He'd always been too busy, though, even once he had the desk job at Starfleet HQ.

Lori grinned, "That's not all." She smiled as a host opened the door for them, to enter and another offered to seat them. Lori kept her gaze on Jim, appreciating each toe of his crow's feet as he grinned at the inside. There was a dancefloor that was bordered by tables. Dorsey was being played by a live band, who were all wearing period suits.

Jim sniffed the air, "Is that... cigarette smoke?" He saw a few patrons smoking in the lounge, something that had long ago been banned on Earth and some colonies. He laughed and hugged His wife, "I feel like I've just stepped back in time!"

Lori grinned and tugged her husband's hand, leading him to the table where their host had already tried to direct them to. They sat down, and Lori waited a few beats, just so she could enjoy the ear-to-ear grin on Jim's face. "I knew you liked antiques, but I didn't know, really, which era... When I found this place was based on the famous Copa Cabana, I just had to make a reservation." Which, during a festival, meant that she had thought to do this a good while back. Perhaps before she'd left Jim.

"Oh, they're all good." Of course, Jim thought back to a time just before the period this, when he'd met a lovely woman who would had experienced the chance for the real deal, except that he had to let her die-had to stop one of his best friends from saving her and changing all of history. _Edith_ _would_ _have_ _loved_ _this_ _place_. Jim didn't let his smile falter, though. He didn't want Lori to wonder about his internal thoughts. "Do you know how to swing, Lori?"

Lori's brows shot up and she had to stop herself from choking on her water. "E-excuse me?" Of course, they had that particular discussion before they even married. Why was Jim bringing it up now, of all times?

Kirk coughed into his hand and grinned at Lori, managing to avoid a laugh that would have won him a glare in return, "Not that sort of swing, dear. It's a kind of dance they did in the early to mid 20th century."

"Oh." Lori paused a moment, then laughed at herself. "I'd say not, then."

"Would you like to learn?" Jim looked as eager as a teenage boy with his first transport. Lori found that she couldn't deny him the chance to teach her.

"You're not going to take 'no' for an answer." Lori rolled her eyes as Jim just grinned more. "Fine. Teach me, oh Swing Master."

Jim Kirk couldn't hold back his laughter then, as a snicker escaped. They both got up and went hand in arm to the dancefloor.

* * *

Kevin Riley put the drink back down into the sand and dusted himself off. Jenny tied the hem of her dress into a knot, so that it set up above her knees. Kevin tried not to stare, but the former redhead caught his look. "I didn't take you for a 'legs' man." Jenny wasn't sure, due to the dimmed light of the evening sun, but she guessed Kevin probably blushed.

He certainly stammered, "Oh, I'm just.. I mean. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have." What was it about this girl that made him feel so old-fashioned?

Jenny laughed and took off her shoes, putting them on the blanket. "If I had a problem with it, you'd know. Jesus, Kevin. What are you going to do when we go swimming tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow?" The thought of Jenny in a swimsuit made Kevin Riley swoon. He supposed his hermitting away in order not to betray his marriage had made him a bit prudish. His initial concerns about taking Jenny to Centaurus were likely true. Trying to take things slow was going to get harder and harder to do. Literally.

"Well, yeah. Gotta swim before we can dive. Oh, and surf. I'm not very good at it, though. Dad did most of the surfing, when we'd go down to Cali."

"You lived in the Western part of North America, then," noted Riley.

"Yep, grew up on the coast." Jenny was hesitant to say where, though. "Dad had a bike shop. We'd take the old highways down to Cali, in the summer. I miss those rides. Seems like forever ago." They were walking into the surf, now, their toes squishing into the wet sand. Jenny smiled, when Kevin took her hand in his, as a matter of course.

"Motorcycles?" Kevin smiled at that, "With wheels?" Jenny nodded to both. "Not run on gasoline, though..."

"Of course not. Retro-fitted. No carbon emissions..." Jenny talked a bit more about how the engines worked, and Riley laughed. "What?"

"You sound like an engineer. Mister Scott'd love you." Jenny blinked, wide-eyed at Kevin Riley.

"Well, Dad..." Jenny trailed off, unsure how much she should tell Riley. She didn't want to get into further trouble... She knew she'd probably face a heap enough, lest adding to it.

But, Kevin had to guess, "He was in Starfleet, wasn't he? An engineer?" Jenny paused and looked away. "Oh... Sorry, I guess I shouldn't ask you too much."

"No, it's okay. He was. You're pretty good at guessing," Jenny observed.

"Well, we have to learn critical thinking, in Starfleet... Deduction is just something we have to do, on a day to day basis, from your everyday crewman, up to the Admiralty." Jenny nodded absently to Riley's explanation. He gave her hand a squeeze, "I guess I shouldn't talk about work, right now..."

"It's alright, Kevin." Jenny looked out to the ocean. It was calmer than Earth's, its waves and tide gentler due to the celestial pull being slightly off. Pensive, she wondered if she could keep her promise she made to him, without betraying expectations any further from Section 31. For all she knew, they could show up in the middle of the night and whisk her away. And then, that'd be that. She felt Kevin Riley's eyes on her, and she squeezed his hand with hers to reassure him. "I don't want it to end."

Kevin wondered if Jenny meant the lovely evening they were having, or if she meant more. Without a further thought, he pulled the news producer to him and held her close._ I could kiss her now. I want to. _He wanted more, though. But if he started things now, they could get out of control, and he'd lose the chance for something more. He wanted something more. _If I kiss her, I don't know if I could stop._ Or if Jenny would want to stop, either. He figured she wouldn't, the shameless way she'd flirted with him, every now and again. Holding her in his arms, like this, he could feel her heart beat against his chest, the soft frame of her build. Her hem was in a knot at her side, but wisps of it danced at his leg in the evening sea breeze. Kevin's hands came up and cupped Jenny's face, his thumbs brushing along the apples of her cheeks. Her eyes were dark, dilated by the evening light. The way she looked at him stirred emotions, as well as physical attraction. However, he felt a knot in his stomach and a pang in his heart. Somewhere, deep down, he felt as though he was betraying Anab. But she ended things between them. He couldn't betray something that was no longer there. Right?

The moment passed, and Jenny seemed to realize things. She put her hands over Kevin's and pulled them away from her face. She claimed them in her hands, though, and not once did she look away. "Kevin... We both have good reason to keep things... as they are." Her smile faltered. He could see how strongly she was fighting herself to take the moment away before they did something either of them could regret later. Jenny hugged herself to Kevin and nuzzled slightly at his chest. That, she couldn't help. "I don't want to get carried away, just yet. We can't."

"I know." Kevin gave a long sigh. How were they going to keep things as they were, being in the same suite? He could tell that it'd soon be enough to drive him mad. He took Jenny's hair from her ponytail and brushed a hand through her hair.

"Mmthat's not helping," complained his mysterious friend.

Kevin chuckled, "I know." Jenny Hogan wasn't the only one capable of teasing.

Jenny leaned into Kevin's hold, "Do you know the story behind Centaurus?"

"Of course," smiled Riley. He thought back, "Centaurus was the first one to read the stars and group them into constellations. He taught the Argonauts how to sail by the stars."

Jenny smiled and nodded against Riley's chest, "Mmhm. He was the father of the Centaurs and the constellation is actually supposed to be Chiron, who was injured trying to stop a fight between his men and Hercules. ...But Centaurus was born a deformed child, son of Ixion and Nephele. He found no peace among other humans, and so he went up to the mountain, where he felt most at peace. There, he mated with Magnesian mares, who bore the first Centaurs."

Riley pet at Jenny's hair, but smirked while doing so, "If that's supposed to be romantic..." Both of them chuckled at his comment.

"No, just... Ironic, to find such a peaceful night, here on a planet named for someone incapable of finding it for himself, except in seclusion."

Riley frowned and hugged Jenny closer.

* * *

Jim Kirk twirled Lori around and hugged her back to him, in the hold. She swayed the way he'd shown her, and when her hair landed from the spin, she laughed open-mouthed. _Things are going so well,_ he thought. He didn't want to say anything, as though doing so might jinx it. Such a silly feeling, that. They danced for a good while, then retired to their table, figuring their dinner would arrive soon. Lori's face was flush from the activity, and Jim thought it was a lovely glow for her to have. A nice start to their second chance. She looked up at him, "What is it?"

"Hm? Oh, nothing. Just that I'm thankful to have the most beautiful woman sitting here with me, in this swank little place. It's rather romantic, I have to admit." Jim smiled and thanked the waiter, when dinner was brought out. "Is this lobster?"

"It's not exactly. Crustacean of some sort..." Lori chuckled at her husband. "You've been to Centaurus how many times, and never learned its fauna?"

Jim pouted, "I've always been too busy. Captains don't get to have shore leave much. I never had time to appreciate the finer things in life." He paused and looked at his wife, who seemed fixed on his reaction. "...But it's give and take, like anything else. I didn't really mind." Lori nodded in understanding. Jim gave an appreciative sound as he chewed on the meat. He patted his mouth and noted, "It's very good."

Lori chuckled, "I'm glad you like it." She ate some of her food, doing her best to lose herself in the moment. Apparently, though, that was not to be.

"I wonder how Riley's doing..." Jim noted, between bites. Lori shrugged and gave a negative sound. She wasn't exactly wanting to know, but Jim carried on his train of thought. "Did you know, he'd been married?" Lori paused and gave a slow nod. "...Damn. I really should be there for him, more. I'd had no idea, and well... Things haven't worked out for him."

"Some people are very private about their personal affairs... Some would say you are.." Lori countered.

Jim nodded, "Especially in Starfleet, I know... Still. I would have wanted to be someone he could come to. Things may not have gone as they had, if he felt safe to broach the subject with me."

"Jim, you can't blame yourself for that. As for us, we..." Lori shrugged and smiled, "My timing was bad... and I regret a lot. But, I needed to leave and think about things... And," She shook her head. "Riley and you had been through a lot together, more than he knows... but Jim. He's not that little boy, anymore." She reached for his hand and gave it a squeeze. "You need to let him live his life as he sees fit. He did come through, in the end. You should be proud."

"I am," smiled the old captain, now admiral. Jim laughed as he stabbed a bit of salad with his fork, "He told me he pretended to be _me_, when he pulled that exchange." Lori's brows raised. Jim grinned, "Never thought a man could flatter me." Lori rolled her eyes and flashed her napkin at her husband. Jim laughed, "No, but I'm proud of him. He has a tendency to hold himself back. He should react on instinct more. He'd make a good captain, if he did." That got Lori's attention.

"Now, Jim. He's still a bit young for you to be thinking of recommending him to captain a ship." She noted, "You may have been around his age when you took command, but he's not you." She ate some food, and left Jim to consider that.

"Well, someone's bound to beat my record... He's got a couple of months to try." Perhaps if Riley hadn't messed up the security for the school, he'd have been well on the road to doing so. "He's got promise, that Irish lad."

"He does," admitted the blonde. "If he didn't, I wouldn't have recommended him for your Chief of Staff."

Jim raised his glass to that, "And I thank you for that. He's finally coming into his own. I wonder if his new friend has anything to do with that." Kirk paused at the frown that tugged at his wife's mouth. "What? You don't approve?"

"It's just a bit convenient," lied Lori. "A news producer getting involved with the aide to the admiral in charge of public relations for Starfleet?" She raised her eyebrows to emphasize the idea.

Kirk frowned and humored his wife's concern, "Well... I trust Riley not to divulge anything of secrecy to Jenny."

"You're on a first name basis with her?" _Ut-oh. Bad, bad, bad. _Jim saw the hackles raise, nearly, on Lori's shoulders, underneath her blue dress.

"Well. She's very amicable." That wasn't helping Jim with Lori. He knew her body language well enough to see he was digging himself in deeper. Kirk shook his head, "She's not my type, Lori. It's just..." Jim had a hard time putting his finger on it.

"Just what, Jim Kirk?" Lori needed to know what exactly her husband was thinking, in regards to Hogan. Else, even the _Starhawk_ couldn't salvage this particular mission.

"Just..." Jim brought up his hands, as if to catch his thought from the skies, "She seems so damned familiar. I'm wondering if she has a relative in Starfleet... maybe we've crossed paths. Doesn't she seem familiar to you, Lori?"

"No. Not memorable at all," muttered the other admiral.

Jim worried his lip. Perhaps he shouldn't have pushed conversation about his aide so far. He leaned forward and pet at Lori's hand, "Alright. I'll drop it, then. Besides... this time, this moment... it's for us. Those two kids can have their fun, and we'll have ours. I'm sure Riley can handle himself with a little news producer."

Lori didn't look convinced, but she did smile and take her husband's hand. _This is more important_, she tried to convince herself.


	8. What Comes Around

"I'm going to take a shower." Kevin Riley was holding Jenny Hogan by the shoulders. They'd had a lovely walk back to the hotel and were pleased to see that their luggage had been brought to their small suite. Kevin kissed Jenny's cheek and took in a whiff of her perfume. He wasn't even sure she was wearing any, it seemed so mild.

"Okay." Jenny rubbed at her neck when Riley turned to get a change of clothes and headed to the sonic shower. When he'd disappeared within, she held her stomach with both arms and paced a bit, before sitting down on the couch. She'd meant to have contacted Lori Ciana about the change of mind, but it was so late, now. Jenny nibbled her lip. It shouldn't be anyone's business what she did with her life. But, it was. Even if she was being careful, she knew that Riley was beginning to invest himself in a relationship with her. It might be just friendship, right now, but it was clear to her that his intentions had shifted. He'd nearly kissed her, and she had wanted him to. And more. Jenny looked back to the sonic shower, doubting whether it had the same affect as an old-fashioned cold water shower.

Fetching her paper pad out from her satchel, Jenny jotted down a note, then folded it. She searched through her satchel and fished out an envelope, putting the short letter inside. The hotel was a bit archaic, thankfully. They had a tube service, so she sent the note down to the desk, so it could be waiting for the admiral when she next checked with the desk. Even after sending a note of apology, Jenny felt nervous. Now that their evening was coming to a close, the feeling of something going wrong was an increasing worry for her. She rubbed the bridge of her nose, after catching herself looking over her shoulder. If she stayed up... Jenny glanced to the bathroom door and for a slight moment, felt weak in the knees. If he asked, she knew she wouldn't refuse him. Even if she should. Jenny turned away with a pained look. _It's not leading someone on, when you want the same thing._ Still, she felt guilty. She couldn't give of herself freely, like she wanted to. _Kevin deserves better than that._ She sank back into the couch and rubbed at her cheeks. Her hands clamped at either side, like a bad impression of The Scream. "You promised him, Jenny," she muttered to herself. Well, there was only one thing to do, if she was to stay true to Kevin Riley AND keep herself out of trouble with Starfleet...

When Kevin emerged from the bathroom in his pajamas, he didn't see Jenny. He frowned and hung his head. _I've scared her off, somehow._ But then, Riley noticed movement on the couch. Jenny had already changed into her nightclothes, forgoing a shower of her own, and was now cuddled up on the couch despite not having a blanket. _I thought we were going to flip for the couch._ Kevin sighed. He really didn't feel right taking the bed, especially when he saw that Jenny had stayed. He dipped down and brushed back her locks with a soft smile. Someday, he'd hold her close like he had tonight, but the next time, he'd give her a proper kiss. Whatever haunted her from her past, he'd do his best to support her. "Jenny?" The brunette didn't stir. Kevin laughed silently. Whatever the case, Jenny Hogan seemed to sleep deeply. "Dream sweet."

* * *

"Ahhh..." yawned Jim Kirk as he slouched in the sofa of their suite. Lori curled up next to him and kissed along his ear. "Mmn." It was more of a Frankenstein monster groan than an interested one.

Lori sat up with a start, "Jim Kirk, don't tell me that after a romantic evening out, you aren't up for the night?"

Kirk smiled sleepily, "Mmn. I have a reputation to uphold, don't I?" He laughed when he saw his wife roll her eyes. "A small nap. It's all I ask. Honestly, I'm not an eighteen yearold anymore. The afternoon, we..."

Lori chuckled and hugged Kirk's side, "Reputation, indeed. Alright. I suppose we've earned a bit of shut-eye." She reluctantly got up and tugged at Jim's hand. He tugged her back to the couch and snugged her to him. "Second wind?"

"I don't want to leave this couch." Jim played with Lori's hair, and sighed into it, "Did I mention how lovely you look tonight?"

"You might have said something or other..." The blonde trailed her fingers along Jim's button-up shirt. "Well... Jim, are we going to bed or are we _going to bed_, dear?"

Kirk chuckled and nuzzled his nose sleepily into one of Lori's breasts, "The spirit is _willing_," he admitted. He laid his head there and closed his eyes. "Hmm... you're very comfortable, did you know that?"

Lori pet at Jim's hair, recognizing an old pattern. He was fighting sleep, and soon he'd lose out and they'd be stuck on the couch... And, she'd get a bad back, as a result. Jim might, too. "I think the bed is more comfortable." Jim's whine made Lori roll her eyes again. "Come on. Up we go. Don't make me call the front desk to beg for help." That did it.

"Alright, alright. I'm up, I'm up... for now." Jim reluctantly removed himself from the nice pillow his wife made and pushed up from the couch. He allowed Lori to lead him to bed, and soon after, sleep found him.

* * *

Feet stretched out and popped, before Jenny Hogan turned over in her cocoon of sheets. She cracked open an eye at the dim light filling the room from the window. It took her a moment, but the disorientation woke her up soon enough. Jenny pulled herself up and blinked at the sheets and the matress she had slept upon. _Wait. I fell asleep on the couch._ A savory smell twitched at her nose and the news producer followed it with her eyes. Kevin Riley was at the kitchenette. "Eggs?"

"Omelettes," answered the Irishman. "At least... my attempt at them. Don't ask me to try making anything else. Omelettes, a proper pot of tea, and coffee. That's it. I burn water."

Jenny pulled the sheets to her flannel pajamas, "You moved me."

"I did," Riley admitted. "You didn't flip a coin." His parodied chiding made Jenny blush. "Did you sleep okay?"

"Yeah. You?" Jenny pulled herself from bed and scratched at her sides. Riley answered in the affirmative, but Jenny couldn't be too sure he meant it. She felt bad, but what could she do at this point? "Alright... Well, let's swap out, tonight." Again, answered in the affirmative. Jenny didn't trust Riley to agree, once the moment came, though. "Be back in a mo'."

As Jenny slipped into the water closet, Riley added mushrooms and green peppers to the omelette. He hadn't made omelettes for anyone since before Anab left on tour. Kevin felt bad about comparing now to then, and he wondered if it would always be that way. Would Jenny resent him for it, if she knew? The omelettes were ready by the time Jenny was out from washing up. They sat at the tiny breakfast table, and Riley poured them a coffee each, as well as orange juice. "So... swimming?"

"Mmhm. And a little sun worship. Centaurus A worship?" Jenny had no clue. She was a bit of a mess, all slumped in her PJs, though.

That got a chuckle from the Irishman. "I think I understand." He smiled at her as he leaned on one arm. _I could get used to this._

"What?" Jenny caught Riley staring at her. She rubbed sleepily at an eye and patted back a yawn.

"You're not a morning person, are you?" Riley's eyes were dancing at the news producer. Jenny shook her head no to the question. Kevin reached over and ran his palm over the several hairs that were sticking up from Jenny's bedhead.

Jenny frowned in a grump and groaned, "Oh god, you're seeing me with morning face." They didn't even get to do _it_, to counteract that. _Wonderful_.

Riley laughed in complete mirth at the sour look on Jenny's face, "I think you look absolutely adorable." The raspberry he received made him laugh all the more. "I like the robot flannels, especially." Jenny looked down at her pajamas and blushed so red, it mimicked a sunburn.

After breakfast and a quick shower, Jenny changed into her one-piece swimsuit. She'd been tempted to bring a bikini, but had opted to be conservative, given the circumstances. The cut was low at the hip and high at the neck. Seeing herself in the bathroom mirror, she remarked, "You old woman, you." She stuck her tongue out at her reflexion and joined Kevin, who had already taken the opportunity to change into trunks and a fresh tee, himself. While Jenny wrapped a sarong around her middle, she felt Kevin's eyes on her again. However, when she looked up to meet them, they weren't so much appreciative as they were warm and kind. The two friends smiled at each other silently, and Jenny fetched her basket, readying it with beach needs. As they passed the front desk, Jenny hadn't thought to look over and see that her note was still waiting for Admiral Ciana.

They got to the beach, which was already pretty crowded, even this early in the morning. Jenny nearly squeaked, though, when she spotted a recently vacated lawnchair. They settled their things, and Jenny fetched out a bottle of sunscreen. Kevin boggled. "That's not what I think it is..."

Jenny laughed at the distasteful look the chief of staff gave her, "Sunscreen. What? You don't use it?"

Kevin scrunched his nose, "No. You do?" He fetched a wristband and placed it around his arm, before tapping a button. There was a snap of ozone and the quickest shimmer as a sunshield snug close to his body. He waved his wrist at the woman, "Sunshields are more efficient."

Jenny stuck her tongue out at him, "No fun, either. Besides, have you ever had one short out on you? The newer models don't even keep a hum. You don't know they've malfunctioned until you're lobster red. I have enough freckles as it is, than to add to them." With that, Jenny squirted some lotion into one hand and began applying it to her arms, face, and neck. "Do you at least know how to tread water, by the way?"

Riley smirked, "That I can do. Just don't expect me to actually go anywhere." He blinked owlishly at the expectant look on Jenny's face, after she finished her legs. "...Huh?"

"I can't reach my back. Will you do me?" Jenny did everything she could not to tap her foot. Kevin was a great guy, but there were some things where he was a bit clueless. ...But then again, if he wasn't one to use sunscreen, maybe he really didn't know any better.

"Oh! Oh, okay. Sure..." When Jenny turned around and pulled her hair out of the way, Riley took the offered bottle of sunscreen and peeked at it. "SPF? Sun protection factor?"

"Yeah, something like that," came Jenny's answer, as she waited. Kevin put some of the lotion in hand and tried not to think about what it reminded him of. He rubbed it onto Jenny's shoulders and back, ignoring the way the touch made him feel. He was thankful she'd been thoughtful enough not to wear a bikini, but even the thought of her in one was difficult to banish. Jenny waited and began to blush, as Kevin seemed to be taking his time with the lotion. She noted with a tiny smile, "I think that's good enough. Thanks." She turned around and smiled up to him, but Kevin was looking past her now, like he'd seen a ghost. The bottle of lotion fell from his hand and onto the sandy beach.

* * *

Jim Kirk smiled into the kiss he held with his wife. There were two quick smooches to follow, and he caressed her cheeks tenderly. "See, just needed a bit of a rest, that's all." Lori opened her eyes and nuzzled her nose to his.

"I don't think seven hours counts as a nap, Jim." They kissed some more, and Lori whined when the hotel comm chirruped at them. "I thought I told them not to bother us before nine."

Kirk ran his finger down Lori's nose and smiled, "No rest for the weary. It might be important." He reached over and took the receiver, "Jim Kirk." He listened and looked over at Lori inquisitively, then nodded, "Yes, we'll take it. Send it up." It was Lori's turn to look puzzled. "Were you expecting a letter?"

Lori looked even more lost. "No? A letter?" What an odd thing. Who sent paper mail, these days? She watched as Jim made his way-unabashedly in his birthday suit, to top it off-over to the tube system. A rush of air sounded, and soon, the letter had arrived. Kirk raised his brow at the handwritten address, "'Admiral Lori Ciana.'" He turned the envelope in his fingers to show his wife, before passing it over. He smiled, "Maybe you have an admirer."

Lori rolled her eyes and opened the envelope, to look at the script. Kirk canted his head and waited for her to say something, but the blonde just frowned.

"Rich uncle pass away and left you his fortune?" joked Kirk.

"Don't be obtuse, Jim." Lori scowled and took the letter to the recycling station, then with a push of a button, it was vaporized. She looked up at her husband, who had lost all the mirth in his gaze. Lori sighed, "I'm sorry. It's that bit of work I told you about. Someone slipped up, and I'm just worried it's going to take us away from our vacation." The blonde walked over and took Jim's hands in hers, "Let's just pick up where we left off... okay?"

Jim nodded and kissed Lori on the temple, "Okay. You'll talk to me, if it gets to be overwhelming, though, right?" Lori nodded reluctantly, knowing she wouldn't... and couldn't.

* * *

"Hello, K.T." Riley had absently left Jenny to stand and watch as he walked over to the tall and lithe Somalian lady he'd seen only a moment before. He was still disoriented by the time he reached her, that when the woman stepped into his arms, instinct only directed him to hold her close.

"Anab." The name, one he'd longed to say in her presense once more, hung in the air and caught in Kevin Riley's throat. His mind was spinning, and his stomach wasn't too far behind. He felt guilty and he couldn't understand whether it was for Anab's sake or Jenny's, at this point. "How? ...Why?" He had many questions and yet, no way to word them properly. How could Anab be here?

"Shh." A long, manicured nail pushed against the Irishman's lips as dark eyes regarded him. "The _Starhawk_ came into port an hour ago. We've been given a bit of shore leave before we come home to Earth." Anab looked concerned over Riley's puzzled and paled face. "K.T., I thought you'd be happy to see me..."

Riley seemed to find himself, at least a little. "Happy? I... I should be." He held a hand to the top of his head, "I thought... ...The marriage contract... You asked for your things." And rather tersely, at that. Had he mis-remembered? Had he been so overwhelmed with the news of Anab's decision that he'd completely missed some sort of subtext? And what did this mean, now? He'd begun to move on, albeit slowly, with Jenny. _Jenny!_ Kevin remembered her and tore his gaze from Anab, but then his ex-wife was touching him and talking to him. He couldn't bare to look directly at Jenny Hogan, and instead looked up in helplessness at the svelte Starfleet officer from the _Starhawk_.

Anab ran a hand over one of Kevin's biceps, "I know. I know what I said, and I'm sure... at the time, what it must have seemed like. I'm so sorry, love. I just... I needed to see you in person, to discuss things in depth... I couldn't renew the contract, right then. We need to talk things out, first. In person." She lifted a hand to cup Kevin's cheek, saw tears in his eyes. "K.T... I know it's been hard, so hard for you. Let's sit and talk." Before Kevin Riley knew it, Anab had closed the distance and kissed him sweetly. It wasn't passionate, but it wasn't without feeling as her eyes had seemed, the day their marriage dissolved

"O-okay," he felt himself answering. He hadn't looked, but he had guessed right, that Jenny Hogan had stopped waiting for him to rejoin her. Overwhelmed by the moment, he felt numb and unsure about everything, save his Starfleet commission.

* * *

The Japanese people of Earth, those of the buddhist philosophy and religion, called this experience _zen_. That is, an awareness of the oneness in a moment in time and space. Of course, such a meditation was still very human, in origin, and relied on words like feeling and intuition. There was no logic derived from the word _zen_, and yet, it was not an inappropriate description for the sensation of _now_ that the Vulcan found himself experiencing as he meditated as part of his _kolinahr_ training. A breeze shifted the sands on the floor by his feet as an insect buzzed and beat against the wall, trying in all its instinct to find its way out before it might fall from flight and die. He was aware of his hand moving the hem of his robe, and that of his black hair falling to his cheek, but it was not these things, nor the breeze or the insect which stirred the Vulcan from his meditation. Minds he had long since left regard for were reaching towards him, bringing words of an old friend along, urgently calling for him. Spock lifted his hood from his stoic face and lifted his head, as though to call back, "Chris...?"


	9. Goes Around

Swiping away hot tears, Jenny Hogan silently admonished herself as much as she did Kevin Riley, for his behavior at the beach. "Stupid. Just...stupid!." She wasn't sure if she meant it towards the Irishman or herself. ...Perhaps both. Thankfully, she noted as she packed away the last of her clothes, they'd parted without more than held hands, not even a kiss on the lips. The moment Riley's ex-wife had kissed him, that was Jenny's cue to leave as a lady should. They may not currently be married, but Jenny painfully saw how much love Kevin still held for Anab. He had been honest with her, though. All he could afford to Jenny was friendship. He'd wanted to invest in more, she knew, but despite hope, he was still very much invested in his ex-wife. Jenny choked back her tears, hearing Ciana's words, as well as others, clashing with the words Kevin had sweetly told her last night.

_You're_ _where_ _you_ _belong_, _lass_.

Jenny choked on the memory, "You're wrong..." There wasn't anywhere she belonged, not even that _place_... Jenny sat back on the floor and stared for awhile. If she firmly believed in herself, as much as she'd tried to do, tried to convince herself... She wouldn't have turned away and left, until she'd heard it from Kevin Riley's own mouth. But how could she be firm in her convictions when it seemed everyone else was steadfast that she was in the wrong, that her very existence was an enigma, an anomaly in the face of reality and the continuum of the very fabric of space and time? Kevin Riley would only be the same, if he knew as much about her as the others.

Jenny Hogan realized how tired she was. It seemed to her, she'd been running ever since that day, when she sat with Joe, on Algol II, so far away. Curiosity had killed the cat, but for her, it had sent her spiraling through time and landing in a future so bleak and unfamiliar, that she'd fled until she found friends who believed in her. They'd risked all, even their lives as well as their own universe, to send her back to the timeframe in which she belonged. And the one who had made it possible to come back, who had believed in her from the start, was Jim Kirk. He wouldn't remember her. The timeline had shifted. Though Kirk was now where he belonged and didn't know what he'd done for her, Hogan remembered. She remembered all their sacrifices, as she fell through the black waters of the Well of Tomorrows.

Except something had happened. Some terrible thing, where the then Starfleet LTJG officer had been torn asunder, her mind like a supernova, flashing across the galaxy in a million directions at once, her body so hot and fierce, she knew she was dead. She had seen all of time, and for that, a price was paid. And yet, she hadn't died. But, Jenny now postulated, perhaps she should have. Was what life she had one of her choosing? Ciana had planted a seed of doubt in her mind, and now, Jenny Hogan was sure that freedoms afforded every sentient being would never be hers to claim until or unless she could prove she had a right to exist in this timeframe. But Kevin... "You didn't keep your promise." _And are you keeping yours?_ she asked herself. Perhaps it was unreasonable to presume she could, even for a short while.

Jenny stood up and looked over the suite, which looked like something a young couple, looking to make ends meet, might end up reserving. The bedsheets were still tousled, though no action had taken place the night before. Would he bring _her_ here? Surely not. Not that he had any reason not to. Jenny shook her head clear of cobwebs. This was beyond Kevin Riley and his ex-wife. The pain inside was deeper seeded than that. She walked over to the companel and sent her story to WorldNews. She wasn't sure if it was sufficient for what they'd expected, but at this point, she wasn't even sure she'd be allowed to return to her job or life as Jenny Hogan. As the file was being transferred, the front desk patched in a call from Starfleet. _Here it comes._

The call from Section 31 wasn't what displayed on screen, however. Jenny stared, slack-jawed at the prim brunette that leapt out from memory. It'd been a decade, at least, since she last saw the person. To her benefit, the lady had aged gracefully, her black hair only trimmed with one streak of silver and some sparse salt and pepper grey. "...Admiral Rogers." Jenny's hand shook and held onto the desk for a moment.

The smile on Roger's face was one of conviction, or purpose. More a grimace than something of mirth. "It's been a long time, hasn't it?" Jenny could only nod. Prime read the perplexion on the younger woman's features. "If you're wondering, then no, special section did not request me to contact you." Jenny looked down, then back up, but before she could ask, Rogers' countenance softened, "Chris did... by way of Mister Spock."

"Chris. Christopher Pike... That means..." Jenny put a hand over her mouth, not daring to mention the unmentionable.

Rogers gave a curt nod, "They contacted Mister Spock. Apparently, all this time, they've been watching us. Everyone who came into contact with them. Though we cannot trust them, Chris insisted that Mister Spock assist with a special request. As Mister Spock is currently unavailable due to his undertaking of the Vulcan _kolinahr_, he's passed along instructions to me." Rogers regarded the younger woman, gauging whether Hogan was ready for the choice that would be laid before her.

Jenny was suddenly her old self, confidence spreading in her body language as she stared back into the screen, "Instructions? Admiral, we cannot trust them."

Admiral Rogers seemed a bit relieved with Jenny's answer, but not by much. "I know. But I trust Chris and I trust Spock... And this has everything to do with you."

Jenny's lips trembled. It upset her to know the Talosians had been keeping tabs on them all, been inside their heads, even from so far away... They knew her inner thoughts and it made her stomach turn. "Does _she_ know?" Jenny was curious but terrified to ask. It was necessary, however.

Rogers quirked a brow at the question, "Your progenitor? I've been in conference with her, so yes." Jenny was unable to mask her anger from the admiral, as much as control as she mustered. "Captain Colt refuses to involve herself. Are you surprised?"

"No," was Jenny's soft reply. "Just disappointed."

The admiral canted her head, considering the best possible way to broach the subject matter without having to deal with emotional fallout. "Up until recently, none of us could understand fully what happened with you both, in a personal sense, I mean. That's changed, now. Mister Spock himself has a clone." Jenny hated that term and she winced at the usage, now. Rogers reminded her, "It's Mister Spock who has fought so hard for you in your new life, Jenny."

"I see." If Rogers could tell that Jenny had already been wracked with emotion as it is, she didn't say anything. "...What do they want with me? This mission..."

"A proposal. They wish to extend you an invitation, as they had Chris, after his accident." Jenny frowned. She could see the Talosians building a fantasy where Kevin Riley would love her and hold no hesitation in showing her. ...But it wouldn't be real. Admiral Rogers considered Hogan's reluctant silence, "I thought you might react this way. It was one thing to joke about it afterwards, but during the time..." Jenny took in a breath at the memory. Admiral Rogers gave a grave look over the communique. "Mister Spock proposed another solution, but the risk is great. However, it would put an end to the question of your impact on this timeframe."

"How so?" Jenny looked up, feeling dread and hope in one big snarl of emotion.

Admiral Rogers pushed back her dark locks and reached over to a button off-screen, "Inputting feed."

The screen flickered, until Spock's visage filled the screen. Jenny remarked on how different he looked. He seemed more... Vulcan. Not even in his eyes, did he emote. Only cold, crisp logic.

"_If you are watching this, then you have decided to listen to a different proposal than the one offered. Rest assured, this mission, should you take it, will forever decide your fate, as it will decide whatever impact you have had on our timeframe._"

Spock lifted a brow, but otherwise continued, "_There is a place, which the _Yorktown_ may take you. It is a secret location known only to a special few in Starfleet. I have given the coordinates to Admiral Rogers. This place is what could be said as ageless. An ancient and unknown race of sentient beings built a machine, a gate, which connects to all space and time within this universe._

_"It is known as the Guardian of Forever... If you go there, you may reverse the accident which led to your existence. Reality will shift and bend to accommodate. Someone must stay with the Guardian, to observe any change or effect that your existence being removed would cause. Depending on the shift, if it is to happen, the person observing the change can go in to stop you and bring you back. Or, if it shows that your existence has no bearing or ill bearing on this universe, would leave you to your task. Though the risk is great, it is only logical that this is the option with greatest reward. Special section would accept the log of the mission as evidence to release you to a life to live, as any other citizen of the Federation._"

Jenny stared, then blinked, when Rogers' face replaced the Vulcan's. "It's suicide," the temporal clone whispered.

Rogers took a deep breath, then replied, "Worse than suicide. It's the erasure of your very presence throughout time. ...You don't have to do this, Jenny." Hogan appreciated the frankness from her former superior officer. She looked to her luggage, then to the bed and the dirty dishes in the sink.

Jenny Hogan closed her eyes, her words thick and throaty, "Yes, I _do_, One." A look of compassion waxed across the older woman's face.

Rogers gave a nod, "Alright, then. The _Yorktown_ will come into port at Centaurus in a day and a half to pick you up."

"Aye, sir." Jenny sat up and gave an old-fashioned salute. She might be retired, but she knew Rogers had to pull strings in order to change course to accommodate her. And there was a certain Vulcan to thank.

"Rogers out."

* * *

Kevin Riley wondered at how every little sound in the café seemed to sound at his ears, from the clinking of spoons against china, to the murmurs of half a dozen languages, most being offworld. He felt the very spark of touch as Anab reached for his hand, and though he guiltily remarked something similar occured with Jenny, this one was much more familiar and known. His eyes flitted up to his ex-wife's and looked in her gaze for the love they'd once shared. He found the look wanting and filled with care, but not the passion that had once been. The realization stabbed him in the heart, but he had to wait and listen. He needed to see where Anab was taking this... ...And it was possible that it was too late to salvage even a friendship with Jenny Hogan. Not that he would if he could start again with Anab. That left a knot of guilt, in realization, as well.

"K.T., you know what it's like. You've been out there, yourself... even farther than the _Starhawk's_ gone. Being out in deep space changes people. I couldn't in good conscience continue our marriage, knowing how much I've changed. It wasn't fair to either of us." Anab sipped her roobois tea, and unlike the communique they'd shared on their last day of marrriage, she could tell that this time, Kevin was paying attention enough to hear and actually listen to what she had to say. She'd been upset at him, how cold he'd turned, not seeing that it had been a difficult decision for her to make and not listening to reason.

Kevin Riley gave a slow nod. He understood that, for sure. "You have changed, but I still care for you, Anab." _Love_. But he was still in pain and too defensive to admit it.

"I know." Anab pet at Kevin's hand. "I care about you, too, K.T. I want both of us to be where we're happiest. And maybe that's with us together, but... I'm not so sure. We need to step back and assess our lives. I heard about your rescue of the hostages on Apollo Day. I'm proud of you." She smiled brightly at the Irishman, who ducked his head at the reminder. "What is it?"

But Riley realized that he couldn't open up to Anab about anything at all. Not anymore. But then, he'd never fully opened up to her, before, either, had he? He stared at his teacup in realization, that he'd been able to connect with Jenny so much, because of that openess between them. Kevin ran his hands through his hair. He knew he loved Anab, probably would for the rest of his life, not that he was happy about it right then... But... He honestly didn't know the answer to the situation she was describing. They'd both changed, and Kevin felt that he'd changed for the better, that he was worthy of Anab, now. But.. Was it enough? "Thank you... for being proud. I... I didn't take your news too well. I messed up, with Apollo Day, actually." That perked Anab's brows. "But stepping in and stepping up... Things were clear to me, then."

"Were?"

Riley gave a weak smile, "I thought you gave up on us, totally." Anab seemed amused by the statement, which hurt and upset Kevin all the more.

"Oh. Now, I see." Anab smiled at Riley's inquisitive look. "That mousy little brunette you were rubbing sunscreen on?" Anab laughed at the look of horror on Riley's face. "Oh, don't look that way, K.T. And don't go off explaining yourself to me. We aren't married anymore." She pouted at the pained look in his eyes, "...What is she to you, if I might ask?"

"A friend... Might have been more, in time, but... we both wanted to avoid a rebound." Kevin looked up to Anab with a sobered gaze. Anab's smile wavered and she gave a nod. Kevin looked down into his teacup again, "I don't think we'll run into her... I don't blame her, if she's gone off somewhere."

"Well, that's her decision, if so... K.T., let's just see how things go for a couple of days... see where we are... Then, if you want to track miss mouse down, you're welcome to it. No hard feelings." He nodded, but Anab got the sense he'd guilt trip himself to kingdom come, if she let him. "Kevin. I'm serious. I want you to be happy. I'm not sure I'm the one to share in that happiness. I don't want to see you miserable..."

"Then give us a chance," Kevin looked at Anab plainly.

"I'm trying. Just... don't put expectations on this, or me. Or us." Anab gave him a cool look as he pouted and gave a nod.

* * *

"Really." Ciana was nonplussed. She wasn't sure how to react to the news, honestly. Well, she thought, at least I can focus on my relationship with Jim.

"_Really_," came Nogura's reply. "_I would have thought you'd be ecstatic, Lori. I know how important it was for Jim to come out and see you._"

"Hm." Lori wasn't about to clue Nogura in on personal information. "Does Captain Colt know?"

Nogura's eyebrows raised, "_Hm? About Hogan's trip to obscurity? Likely so. I doubt Rogers would have left her out of the loop. But then again, Mia's never been keen on her temporal twin, ever since the girl surfaced. Colt has fought tooth and nail to make sure Hogan's influence has been minimized. You should have seen the report she gave on the events she witnessed in that alternate future. So far, we're on a better path, as Pike had surmised._"

"'The addition or removal of someone from their destiny is to be something at all costs avoided.' I read the open report." Ciana mused, "What if Hogan is right? We don't even know which one is truly the clone. It's possible Hogan is the original Mia Colt, having been washed with temporal radiation due to the unique way in which she was flung to the future, and then back to the past."

"_There's no way for us to know. Chris made an executive decision. Mia and Jenny had the same exact memories, from birth until the moment they returned. Plus, Jenny wasn't returned directly to where Colt had disappeared._"

"Oh?" Ciana regretted her curiosity as Nogura basked in knowing more about the situation than Lori did.

"_She showed up at the Well of Tomorrows, the same place that had brought her back. The people at the base on Algol Two nursed her back to health. The temporal radiation at that time was such that timespace would not remain constant around her. Walking anomaly, indeed. She doesn't seem to have aged much at all, since then, either._" It reminded him a bit of a certain Vulcan ice queen he knew.

"No... She claims to be twenty-eight, but she looks much younger." It bothered Lori quite a bit, since a look to Jenny's eyes showed the experience of a more mature woman. It was very off-putting.

Nogura smiled and added, "_Well, it's all well and good. Soon, we won't have to concern about her... nor that terrible future Colt described._" Ciana nodded absently. "_What is it, Lori?_"

Admiral Ciana contemplated, "Sir... Maybe she's meant to be here. She's not the first clone we've seen."

"_No, but her creation is unique. Better safe than sorry._" Ciana gave a slight nod. "_Lori, Jim won't understand. I'd appreciate it if you kept this between us._"

Lori felt the energy drain out of her at the request, "I still don't see the tie to Jim. And you know how I hate keeping things from him."

Nogura gestured openly with his hands, almost a dismissal of Lori's concerns, "_It's work. He'd understand. As to how this relates to him... Colt was a member of the Enterprise crew. Sure, under Pike and not Kirk, but Jim is very protective of the _Enterprise_ crew. I can't take a risk that he'd go cowboying around, on Hogan's behalf. _" Nogura shook his head, confident in his surmation of the flag officer. Kirk had done it before, in the alternate future Colt had described in the report. "_He's older and wiser, but I don't trust Jim not to go off half-cocked when given the opportunity. It's too great a risk._"

Lori gave a practiced nod, one of submission to Nogura's authority. "I see."

"_Then we're understood. Nogura out._" Crisp and clean, as always.

"Aye, sir. Ciana out." Lori sat back in her chair and worried her lip. _Maybe there's nothing to worry about_.

* * *

Jenny sent the last message out and then considered things a moment. It took her a few minutes to locate the code, and then a moment later to be patched in. After a moment, an old man's face came on screen. Despite his aged appearance, he was still a hefty and strong build. His handlebar mustache was just as Jenny had remembered. She cracked a small smile, but the man looked hurt to see her. "_This some kinda joke?_"

Jenny shook her head, "No... No, it's not."

The old man eyed the screen and took in a deep breath through his nose. "_You look like my Mia... She's in Starfleet, though. An' likely twice your age, girl. Don't tell me she's been hiding you from me all this time... Though I suppose I shouldn't be surprised._"

Jenny pouted. "Actually... She has, but... It's not her fault. But what do you mean?" Why wasn't he surprised?

"_You got a name, kid? I should know what my own grandchild's name is._" The old man looked chagrined. "_Well. We haven't had the best communication in several years. She's too busy with her life, I suppose._"

That news upset Jenny. She'd remembered how close she and her father had been. Jenny placed her hand on the screen. "I'm sorry... And... I'm Jenny. I should have contacted you a long time ago. I'm sorry."

"_Well, can't nothin' be done about the past. Don't beat yerself up, Jenny. Why the call, all of a sudden? Are you in trouble? Do you need credits?_" Mister Colt shifted in his chair, not too pleased with his daughter having kept Jenny from him.

Jenny shook her head and wiped tears from her eyes, "No... Nothing like that. I just wanted to see you and talk to you." One last time.

"_Well, no need to be crying about it, darlin'._" Mister Colt pouted his lips, which sat like little sausages under the strawberry blonde mustache of his. "_I tell you what, next time you're in the neighborhood, you swing on by. I'll put you up and make sure you're well fed. And maybe we can catch up. You can tell me about yourself... and maybe we can figure why your mom's got her priorities messed up. How's that sound?_" He was already nodding in agreement with the plan.

"Sounds great." Jenny gave her father a watery smile. She hoped she'd be able to make good on taking him up on the offer. "I know this must sound odd, since we're just now speaking, but... I wanted you to know, I love you. I miss you."

"_Aww..._" Jenny sniffled and giggled as the old man's cheeks turned red. "_That's sweet, Jenny. I love you, too. I hope I get to meet you. See if you can kick that bug out that crawled up your mom's ass, will ya?_" Jenny giggled again and nodded, ignoring her tears for the moment. "_Alright. I'll let you go, then._"

"Okay. Bye-bye." The call ended and Jenny put a trembling fist to her mouth. If nothing else, perhaps that would change for the better. _I should have been stronger. I should have fought harder._ In many areas.


	10. Like Old Times

Kirk wandered up the stone pathway to the old fashioned Terran home. He quirked a grin at the pulley and bell outside the main door. Giving the pulley a yank, Jim Kirk waited and hoped his former CMO was available. The door opened just a crack, and Leonard McCoy peered outside at the uninvited guest. "...Oh, for cryin' out loud. Doesn't anyone ever call first!" He muttered to himself and stepped inbetween the door and the entrance. It had been over a year since the two men had seen one another. The Admiral didn't seem to have nearly as much pep as the doctor remembered, and as for Doctor McCoy, he was wiry and touting a beard that old sea captains would envy.

"Bones!" Kirk grinned at the frontier physician, shocking the man nearly dumb. "That beard! My god, this is what you've been up to, after service?" But, being McCoy, it was only a slight pause before he had anything to say.

"Jim Kirk, what in blazes are you doing here?" The accusatory tone was offset as old friends hugged and clapped each other on the back. "I thought you were back on Earth, rolling pens back an' forth on one of those overgrown paperweights they call desks!" He ignored the quip about his beard.

Jim gave a hurt look, "Bones, it's not that bad." At least, that's what he kept telling himself. "Listen, Lori and I are heading to the cabin. We thought we'd drop by on the way over and say 'hi.' I'm not banned from popping over to bid hello to an old friend, am I?" Kirk raised his brows and gave McCoy a hopeful grin.

McCoy grunted in answer, but after a roll of his eyes and a muttered, "Heaven help us," he turned on his Southern charm and smiled, sweeping his arm in warm greeting, especially when Lori caught up with Jim.

"Sorry, I was having trouble with the skimmer we rented. ...Leonard, it's good to see you."

"And you, Lori. Still surprised you aren't tired of him, yet." It was said completely in jest, but McCoy saw the look from Kirk and the hesitation from Lori to know that not all was right in the Admiralty love nest. "Dammit, Jim. How was I to know?" was whispered rapidly, once Lori made her way past.

"Bones, this isn't exactly what I like talking about over a call." Never mind that the last call McCoy'd made was inappropriately timed, even if it would have been mildly entertaining, had it been under other circumstances. "Listen, a little over a month ago, Lori left... but she's having second thoughts and we're going to try to work things out."

McCoy rubbed at his eyes and nodded, "Yeah. I'd best shut my lip, at this rate. Well, Jim. You're welcome to stay for dinner. Joanna's cooking a roast somethin' or other. All I know is it's good. Tastes something between beef and pork. I'll make up a salad and get some rolls in the oven." All McCoy wanted to do right now is think about home and hearth, not medicine nor Starfleet.

"So, how's life as a frontier doctor?" asked Lori, when the two men joined her. She was already engaged in discussion with Joana, regarding the Centauran crisis that had happened the year before. "That's some beard you have there, Leonard. Very Centauran..." Lori's eyes were dancing.

Bones grunted a thank you, but his face was red.

Kirk smiled, "Something I should know?" He'd already admitted to not knowing the details of Centauran living, but it was Joanna who seemed eager to let Jim in on the local trend.

"Back in the first shipping days, before the Federation was formed, Centaurus was a major hub of commerce from the colonies, kind of a last stop before Earth. It became very notorious for seeing certain needs met by the deep space merchant vessels, as some of their 'sailors' weren't able to wait until Earth to—"

"Joanna, I think he gets the idea," grumbled McCoy, while Jim just grinned from ear to ear.

"No, no. Do go on." McCoy gave his daughter such a look that she didn't dare. Kirk smiled at his former chief medical officer, "So it's a kind of sex symbol? Bones! I had no idea!"

"Now, look. I did not grow a beard to have women throwing themselves at me. I won't be here long enough for it to be an issue." The old doctor folded his arms and gave everyone a look—even Lori, who'd kept mum about it—so that the topic would be dead and in the ground.

Except that Jim would not let the poor thing die. He laughed, then laughed more at the audacious look sent his way from McCoy. "No, no... Not laughing at you, Bones. I just remembered Riley's grown a beard of his own." He paused. "Oh, no. That might make things a bit worrisome. He's got a girl along."

Joanna shook her head, "No... It's usually just the older generation that considers it a sex symbol, these days... If Mister Riley has someone with him, then most people will just let things lie."

"That's almost too bad..." noted Kirk. He liked Riley, but the man bordered along prudish, at times. He could use a good lay. But then, so did... "There's still time for you, old man."

"Horseshit. Don't even go there, Jim."

* * *

"It's a shame there's no football pitch here," Anab mentioned as she and Kevin Riley walked past a few games of volleyball. "Still, volleyball looks pretty fun. Want to join in?"

The interest in playing a sport with Kevin brought his mood up a great deal. It had been a rather intense game of football wherein the two had met and became friends. Anab was incredibly athletic, and it was no wonder to him that she'd been promoted to Security Chief for the Starhawk. "I've never played, but that won't stop me."

Kevin's answer pleased Anab. He was a wonderful man, very thoughtful and full of spirit. However, the one thing that had always gotten in the way was his hesitation. Sometimes, it was his hesitation to try new things, although it was hit or miss. After all, he had gone to deep space himself, and come out having tried many things. But there were pauses in other areas of life. Anab had stated to him upfront that she had no interest in having children. He'd been hesitant, but loving. In the end, they had compromised... She agreed to a one-year marriage contract, to satisfy Riley's wish for them to be together, even if they ended up physically separated. And Riley had agreed not to ask her about children. In truth, Anab knew he'd been disappointed to find out her wishes, and it had hung heavy on her during her tour. "Alright. Let's see if they're up for some fresh blood." Despite the coolness between them, she also caught glimmerings of the love they'd once shared. Perhaps there was some hope, after all.

Anab's smile made Kevin's heart leap. He'd always loved her smile, as much as her eyes nearly. They ran down to the sandy beach and waved to the people gathered there. It was interesting to note that the teams were made up of Andorians, Vulcans, and humans, though only the latter were scattered between the two teams. When faced with additional players, the Vulcans suggested that the humans each join a team, so that the field would be equal. The humans understood that the two were likely a couple, and said they should be able to play for one team. Neither the Andorians or Vulcans wished to have both the humans, though, as they were seen to be less physically adept as either of the alien species.

Though it personally disappointed Kevin to not be on the same team as Anab, he spoke up to the group. "The Vulcans are right in that it would be fairer to even out the numbers, and have one of us for each team. Perhaps a coin toss, to see which team gets each of us?" The group began to argue over the rules and fairness over the coin toss, whether it was to be done by the Andorian team or the Vulcan team. Before he knew it, Kevin was calling their attention again. "Since neither of us have joined a team yet, I suggest that I'll flip a coin. Anab can call it. Each of your teams can witness. Is that fair enough?"

"It is a fair and reasonable proposal," said the Vulcan captain of one team.

"I trust you more than I trust them. Fine," said the Andorian captain of the other team.

After the coin toss, Anab headed over to the Andorian side, but commented to her ex-husband as she did, "You handled that pretty well, Commander." Kevin felt his mouth smirk into a lopsided grin at the praise, and he joined the Vulcans and their human friends.

Not that he needed a reminder, but Kevin Riley soon found out that Anab was quite competitive. She was able to keep up with the Andorians and their naturally adept strength and physical prowess. The few humans on her team were impressed, as were the few on Riley's team. They were beginning to think they got the short straw of the deal.

The Vulcans, however, weren't weak by any stretch of the imagination. They also were keen strategists and managed to use that to their advantage. The weakness, something that Anab was easy to point out and take advantage of, was that the Vulcans would not submit to any sort of physical collision with exposed skin. Kevin was quickly aware that the other team began to focus their hits with the ball towards this chink within armor.

It soon seemed as though the Andorians had the upper hand and would win the match, but Riley recalled what he'd learned of Andorians and their high metabolic rate. He urged his team to focus more on defense and wearing out the Andorians, while taking more conservative measures. At first, Anab thought Riley was just attempting a safer course, and her convictions regarding the dissolution of their marriage felt more confirmed. As her teammates began to tire, however, she was suddenly aware of the tactic. By the end of the match, the Vulcan team had come out ahead. The final score came out to 21-19.

Anab frowned as one of the human players on the team, a tanned blonde woman not much shorter than herself, snugged Riley and kissed his cheek. "We won! We won!" Riley blushed and nodded while politely untangling himself from the embrace.

"Yeah. Good game." He went to meet Anab and her team, but apparently, these Andorians didn't seem keen to stick around after the match. Anab nodded to the blonde. "Seems you have a new friend."

Kevin coughed into his hand, "She's just excited in the moment." The disapproving sound of affirmation from the Somalian woman made Riley pause. _Jealous? Surely not_. ...Anab hadn't seemed jealous of Jenny. What made that any different? Kevin tried not to think of the WorldNews producer, knowing it would only be another wedge between reconciling with his ex-wife. "You were pretty amazing out there, Anab."

The _Starhawk_ Security Chief grinned a bit, "You weren't bad yourself, K.T." The use of the personal nickname made Kevin's heart flutter. His eyes shone at Anab, who shyly smiled for the first time. "Seems you've learned a bit working under Admiral Kirk." She smiled more at him, and paused, contemplating a question.

"What is it?" asked Kevin, with his head askance.

Anab shook her head and took Kevin's hand in hers. "Later." She wasn't sure she was ready to hear whatever his answer would be.

* * *

Jenny saw the note she'd left for Kevin, from the other day. She picked it up and nearly ripped it into pieces, but she didn't have the heart. Neither of them could have known that his ex-wife would show up and try to make amends._ It's what he wants. She's who he wants._ It had been so nice, to be together. Jenny hadn't let herself get that close, not in such a way, in more years than she wanted to admit. She didn't have the heart to take out her pain on the folded stationary. She sat with it in her hands and stared at it. A promise. Potential. Now lightyears away. For reasons beyond her, Jenny slipped the note into a bag, stood up, and turned off the lights to the suite. She checked out from the room at the front desk and waited for a shuttle to take her to an island chain in the Southern hemisphere. _I should have waited. I would have waited, if I was able. It's better this way._ Being with Anab was what Kevin wanted more than anything. _I should be happy for him. It's better this way._

It didn't take long, and when she left the port, Jenny Hogan saw that the air of these islands was more family-centric. Although it was difficult at first, to see families about, she admitted to herself it was better than seeing all the couples, at the other resort. That was a question that never came up. Of course not. Men especially weren't ones to talk about family, committment, nor children when they first went out with people. Went out. Did it count as a date? Maybe in an old-fashioned way, it would have. Not that it mattered anymore. Jenny changed into her swimming suit and rented a surfboard. The waves weren't nearly as fun as the ones back home, but it would be something to enjoy, before her time came. _Maybe I'll let the ocean take me._ Jenny pouted at herself, at that thought. It wasn't like her to be so defeatist. It would save One a trip, but it would also mean that there would be no way of knowing her place in things. ...But then again, she'd at least have lived. There'd be evidence of her having existed...

Thankfully, the thoughts were banished once Jenny was out into the surf. She enjoyed the cool waters as she swam out a ways into the sea. Arms hooked over her board, she squinted up at the sky and its triple sun, joined by fluffy white clouds. There were no thoughts, now, in the moment. There was only the ocean waves, Jenny, and physics in motion. Like old times.


	11. Confessions in Time

As they walked along the boardwalk, Kevin looked out to the beach and noted all the sun worshippers as well as swimmers running out to sea. Jenny Hogan had said promised to teach him how to swim, but he doubted that would happen, now. "Do you know how to swim, Anab?" In two years of marriage, one and a half of it having had at least some communication, the question hadn't come up before. Anab smiled at the question, amused by it.

"Haven't needed to know. The _Starhawk_ has a compliment of knowledgeable swimmers on board, but it's not required for us to know. Why?" Anab knew that environmental suits could adapt to any environment, from zero pressure to intense deep-sea pressure. And well, movement? That's what the suit's thrusters were for.

"Oh... I was just wondering." Riley seemed pensive, but Anab had to wonder his train of thought. He gave her a teasing smile, "You were a little jealous back there, with our blonde friend." Anab rolled her eyes and shook her head, her shy smile returning. "Oh, come on, now. You were; admit it."

"Maybe... just a little. Not much," she tried, coolly.

Riley eyed his ex-wife, "But not so much with Jenny." Anab raised her brow at him. "...Why not?"

Anab sought an appropriate answer. To be honest, she wasn't all the way sure, herself. "Your friend seemed very relaxed with you. I should be even more jealous of her because of that, I suppose. I think..." Anab turned to brush the hair out of Kevin's face. "Your friend saw what was meant between us and respected that space. This v-ball girl saw us arrive together, and she seemed not to care what we might be to each other."

Kevin Riley gave a sober nod. In all fairness, part of him was hurt that Jenny hadn't fought for him. It was a primitive and unreasonable response, but he knew had their positions been exchanged, he'd have at least stayed for an explanation. Anab was waiting for him to respond to her statement, which eventually, the chief of staff finally did, "I broke a promise to her."

Anab knew that must have carried a lot of guilt for the Irishman. He took his promises very seriously. "Is that why she left?"

Kevin gave a nod, "Think so. ...I told her I wouldn't let my past get in the way of a chance with her." He looked away, feeling guilty on various levels. Anab managed to hide whatever hurt she felt.

However, she felt the time had come to ask her ex-husband an important question, "Do you know why I let our marriage contract expire, K.T.?"

Riley glanced back, "We grew apart. You thought I wasn't cut out to be in Starfleet... or to be your husband..." But he felt he was, now. He had changed. She just needed to see that.

Anab gave a sobered grin, "Well... Not quite like that. K.T., my place is in the stars. I know that now... but you, when you got back from your five-year tour on the Enterprise, you had been so convinced never to return to space. I can't help but know you stayed in Starfleet as a last-ditched hope to save our marriage. And... in a way, I felt honored... Touched, really, that you would sacrifice that much for me, for us." She reached out to take Riley's hands in hers, "But, K.T. ...You don't have the passion to journey the skies anymore... You're loyal to Kirk, but I know if you had that passion, even that wouldn't stop you from coming back to the stars." Riley looked back at the woman he'd loved for two years. He knew the question before she spoke it. "Where exactly do you think it is you belong?"

Kevin rubbed his thumbs over Anab's hands, "Truth is, Anab. I don't know for sure. I do know I want to remain in Starfleet, no matter what. I know I can make a difference. Kirk believes in me... It took a long time for me to, but I believe in me, too, now. I'm willing to try. I need to get my feet wet again, find out if I really have the space legs necessary to prove myself in the stars. Are you willing to wait for me to find out?"

Anab worried her ebony brow and closed her eyes, "I don't know, K.T." Her eyes were soft when she beheld him, "Despite it all, I still love you. I'm just not sure..."

"...how we can make it work?" Kevin finished. Anab nodded. Riley was quiet a moment, "I'm not sure, either. But I want to try. You're worth it, Anab. We're worth it."

Anab closed the distance and kissed Kevin softly, more intimately than she had the first time. For a moment, with his ex-wife in his arms, it felt like everything was right with the world, for Kevin Riley. Anab broke off the kiss, then kissed Riley's forehead. "Maybe you're right. ...I can't marry you, again, though." Kevin tried and failed at hiding his disappointment. "Ship life rarely allows for such a long-term and committed thing. And..." Kevin saw pain and guilt in Anab's eyes. "I don't deserve to be your wife."

"Don't say that," hushed Kevin as he pulled Anab close. She shook her head and pulled away from him, wiping her tears away.

"After the contract expired... K.T. ...I tried to get over you." She gave him a look that spoke volumes, and Kevin Riley understood. Perhaps he shouldn't have felt so guilty spending time with Jenny, after all. "...I kind of hoped, you and that girl... Jenny? That you'd have..." Riley shook his head, unable to look Anab in the eye. She gave a slow nod, "I see."

The silence lingered between them, and Kevin eventually broke it, again, "Are you saying that if we continue as lovers, it won't be mutually exclusive?" He tried to omit the accusatory tone that naturally wanted to sneak in.

Anab clenched her eyes closed, having guessed he'd ask her this. "No. I don't know." When she looked at him again, they were both gazing at each other through tears. She'd so hoped to avoid this sort of confrontation. It seemed inevitable, though. If they were to continue, they'd have to face what had happened with each other, and that included any external parties that had come into play. "If I could take it back, I would."

"We weren't married at the time," Riley said, almost in monotone. And even had he behaved with Jenny, it wasn't for lack of attraction. She'd behaved, as well, and if she hadn't, Riley doubted he would have been able to overcome the desires that had besought him. "I need to think. I'm sure you do, too." He registered Anab's nod. Riley gave her a supportive hug, for which she was grateful, before leaving her at the boardwalk for the evening.

* * *

"And then he said, 'I'm a doctor, not an escalator!'" Kirk snickered and took another sip of Saurian brandy, as everyone else laughed at the quip.

McCoy had to point out, though, "Well, I was the only one giving her a hand. She could have slipped, being up on a mountain. And in her condition, I might add." The old doctor was sprawled in his recliner, enjoying another brandy as he poured it from the sniffer.

Joanna beamed a grin and hugged Lori's arm, loving the stories between her father and his former C.O. "Oh, please go on, Daddy. Tell us more about the Capellan lady." Lori nodded and smiled, patting McCoy's shoulder from the sofa.

Jim was the one to acquiesce, as he gave an impression of the pregnant dignitary, complete with a throw pillow over his belly. "'No! I will only be touched by MAC-OY!'" Lori couldn't hold back a snort of laughter, seeing her husband bat his lashes that way.

"She didn't say that!" McCoy's face was red as a christmas santa, but he was chuckling along with everyone else. "We went into a cave and she started labor... There were some complications, but nothing I couldn't handle." He deliberately left out the woman's confusion about claiming the child, however. Lest he give Jim any ammunition to shoot him with.

"While Spock and I," Kirk got a bit blubbery not having the Vulcan there to comment, the Saurian brandy doing its measure on him. "...fashioned some crude bows and arrows... Bones... comes out to fetch us, we go in, and she... and she..." McCoy rolled his eyes, as he knew what came next. Kirk laughed a bit, unable to finish.

"What did she do?" asked Lori. Joanna nodded, eager to hear. This particular story was one that she hadn't heard before.

"She said, 'MAC-oy, come... Bring me our child!'" Jim put a hand under his nose and hid a snicker.

Joanna's eyes widened, "'Our child?' Daddy, do you have some explaining to do?" she asked, her eyes dancing with laughter.

Kirk nodded and raised his glass in salute to his best friend, "You did say you'd explain later. You never did."

"Well, I..." McCoy stroked his beard and grumbled about dessert.

Joanna giggled. "We already had pie. What happened next, Jim?"

Before Kirk could answer Joanna, Bones interrupted, "Nothing happened! Get your mind out of the gutter, child." Having everyone stare him down, finally, McCoy acquiesced. "Fine. Fine. She wasn't fighting for the child's life like she oughta... She needed to claim that child..." McCoy softened his tone, to mimic the one he used before, to Eleen. "...so I was trying to get her to say... 'The child is mine.' 'The child is mine.' As a kind of mantra. I knew if she could convince herself that she had a connection to the baby, she'd fight for it."

Lori gave a happy, if tipsy smile and leaned on a fist, "And she mistook you for claiming parental rights. That's so beautiful."

"So, did I end up with a brother or sister, Daddy?" Joanna was all grins, both proud of her father as a doctor, but also enjoying him stew a bit over this old story.

"Leonard James Akaar." McCoy shared a knowing grin with the admiral. They clinked their glasses and made a toast to the young boy. "I ought to make sure he's doing fine, you know. We're practically godparents to that boy."

"You're the godmother, then," noted Jim. McCoy scowled and the ladies laughed.

McCoy put the drinks away and started tidying up. "You're not gonna try an' make it to the cabin tonight, are ya?" worried Bones, later. "I suppose I could give you two a hypo to clear the air, but what's the fun in that?"

"We have plenty of space here. The guest room's made up and ready. Please say you'll stay," Joanna took Lori's hand and Jim's as well. Her father shook his head and took a last sip of brandy.

The blonde admiral smiled back to the younger McCoy. "I don't see why not. We can make it to the cabin in the morning. Jim?" Lori chuckled as she repeated herself, "Jim?" The admiral was already halfway to Sand Land, curled up into the couch.

"I do believe that counts as a 'yes.'" Bones grinned and raised his brows.

* * *

The door to the small suite at the hotel opened, and Kevin Riley turned on the lights. The empty room, save for his luggage, left Riley with a sinking feeling. He closed the door behind him, Anab's words whisked away in his mind, as recent memories of omelettes and robot pajamas returned. Kevin ran a hand through his hair and he sank into the chair next to the coffee table. Jenny had cleaned up the place, or the hotel staff had, before he got back. Riley felt a pain reminiscent of when Anab had left him, but he knew it to be more the mourning of something that was to be, rather than something that once was. Confusion was setting in. How could he love Anab and miss Jenny, too? It didn't make sense. _Why didn't she say goodbye?_ Was it so hard to do?

Kevin Riley stared at a nicknack on the table. Anab didn't want marriage. She was clear about that. ...But she'd be willing for something else. Was there much of a future there? Kevin had to admit he was hurt and disappointed, especially with her confession of a what, fling? Affair? And Jenny... The WorldNews producer certainly made her intentions known. Friendship was fine to start with, but Jenny Hogan was interested in more. She'd seemed willing to wait until Riley was free to begin something new with her, but that must have seemed impossible the moment Anab showed up.

Riley groaned and pulled himself up from the chair, enough to order from the servitor a choice selection of whiskey. He'd been thinking about what Anab wanted, then Jenny's wants and needs. Perhaps it was time to face his own desires and figure out what was the best course. What else to help him but the bottom of a whiskey glass? He wandered over to the companel and sat down. Out of curiosity, he pulled up the call list, as he sipped his spirits. "Portland?" He didn't recognize the name, but the next call listed nearly made him choke on his drink. "The _Yorktown_?" Why would Jenny be talking to someone on the _Yorktown_? _Kevin, get ahold of yourself. What are you doing, going through her recent calls?_ And the answer that came back was something that surprised him. _I don't want her to go._ That confession was ironically sobering.


	12. Hair off the Dog

Using a palm beacon to light her way into the darkness of the hut, Jenny Hogan eventually found the light-switch and tugged on the bit of chain that switched it on. A dim orange glow trimmed everything in the small bungalow, which amounted to not much. This was fine with Jenny. The festival that was so busy in other island chains apparently was pervasive here, as well. This was the best she could find. Limited electricity, no easy access into tourist spots and along the edge of town... In most people's books, that would be considered roughing it. For Jenny, it seemed perfect. It was away from everyone else. Tomorrow might be her last day, but for the evening, she just wanted to relax and consider her experiences in life.

The bed was rustic and a bit lumpy, but not all that bad. Despite its primitive make, the place was rather cozy and homey. Jenny sat back and stretched out her legs, noting that she felt much better after going to a mud bath, followed by a visit to the hot springs. She wasn't the sort to pamper herself, but she figured if not then, when? Just as she was nodding off to sleep, her communicator sounded. Figuring it could be One, Jenny answered right off, "This is Hogan..."

"_Jenny_? _Izzat you, lass?_" The masculine voice was slurred, but there was no mistaking the tenor under the slight brogue.

Immediately, Jenny sat up. "Kevin?" She could hardly believe he'd called. She rubbed at her neck, trying to ignore the immediate pick up of her pulse. "Are you drunk?" Why else would he suddenly have a pervasive Irish accent?

"_Aye. Ummean, yeah. Jenny, where're you?_" The 'oo' sound was nearly too much. Jenny found her free hand tangling into a mess of bangs.

"I'm still on Centaurus, for now. Kevin, are you okay?" Where's Anab? Why was Kevin Riley alone and calling her? Something must have gone wrong between them.

"_For now? Good." _Riley seemed to ignore the other question. "_Dun go, Jenny. I dunwanchu to go._"

Jenny felt her breath catch in her throat. She wanted to see him. Of course she did... But it was too late. "I'm here, Kevin... But I'm not staying on Centaurus. I have to go back." But not to Earth. "Listen... You're not yourself right now..."

Riley felt like he had to get Jenny to understand. If she could understand, then maybe she wouldn't leave him. "_Anab... Jenny, we talked... I dunthink... I dunthink it's gonna work out... M'so confused..._"

"Kevin..." Jenny heard the desperation in Riley's voice. It was the booze, at least partly. That's what she told herself.

Kevin Riley's voice broke up a bit, "_Need you here._"

"Kevin, I _can't_." Jenny rubbed at her cheek and tried not to let her emotions sway her from what she needed to face. "Listen. There's something important I need to do. And you really should just make sure where you stand with Anab. Just... I can talk but you either need to sober up or sleep it off."

There was a long pause, before she heard Kevin again. "_If you go, I won't see you again... Will I?_"

Jenny wondered how much of her worries were coming through in her voice for Riley to pick up on that. "I don't know. I want to see you, Kevin... but I can't promise anything anymore. Just... don't worry about me. Work things out with Anab, if you can. She makes you happy."

Riley was audibly upset that he wasn't making any headway with her, "_You make me happy, Jenny. Anab just hurts me. She dun mean to, bless her. We dun hate each other. Just... not much of a future there._"

Jenny's eyes saucered and she bit her lip. "Oh, Kevin... I think I see what you're getting at..." But she also knew that it was all the more reason she had to face Spock's trial.

"_So, dun leave. I'll do my best... 'll make it up to you... That promise... won' stay broken. 'll mend it up..._" Riley was near to begging at this point, which if he remembered later, he'd likely regret bearing himself so much.

Jenny's tone was soft, and she did her best not to be upset. She knew she needed to rest fears not only for herself, but her dear friend. "Kevin, it's something I have to do... but I hope, and I'll promise you this... If it works out, I'll be back, and we'll mend our broken promises together, okay? But right now, you need to rest... and I need to not think about this..." Because if she did as he asked, she might not go through with the mission, and if she did that, she'd never know, and there would always be some kind of handler in her life, limiting her choices and experiences. She couldn't live with that.

Kevin didn't know what else to try, so he played what card he had in his hand. "_This have anything t'do with th'_Yorktown_?_"

Jenny gripped her sheets and sat straight. "Kevin, how do you know about that?"

The worry in her voice was enough to confirm it to the chief of staff. Kevin sighed and confessed, "_Was'onna screen when I got here. _Yorktown's_ gonna take you, isn't she? Where're you goin'? Dun go... Please, dun go..._"

Jenny ignored her trembling chin and focused on keeping her voice steady, "Kevin, it's not something I can discuss, you know that. There's something I have to do. I have to make things right. I can't live as Schrodinger's Cat any longer. I just can't." The tone mellowed out again and was soft and warm, "I want to see you again. I hope I will. But that's got to be enough, right now. Wait for me. If everything works out, I'll be back in a couple of days, maybe three."

Not knowing what else to do, he asked, "_Where?_"

A pause, and then, "At the schoolyard. I'll go to the schoolyard."

"_Jenny._"

The news producer wiped at an eye and steeled herself, "Yes?"

"_'ll remember to be there. You do, too._"

Jenny gave a watery smile, "Aye."

* * *

Riley dragged himself over to the companel and searched around until he found what he needed. No doubt the hotel had plenty of clientele all needing a pick-me-up hypo in the morning to refresh their fluids and strip their livers of alcohol. Within a few moments, the hangover was beginning to fade. A couple of glasses of water helped that along, and as he began to wake up, Riley recalled bits and pieces of the conversation he'd had with Jenny Hogan. He groaned and held his head in both hands. He'd been needy at her.. and she found out he'd looked at her private call list. She didn't get angry with him like she should have, though. In fact, the more Riley recalled, the more he thought about Jenny's resolve and the sad but caring timbre in her voice. It had sounded like she was going away for a long while... or for good. Kevin worried his lip. He tried calling her again, but this time, the signal wasn't good enough. Too many people using the com system, he guessed.

After a coffee or two, Riley tried calling Anab, this time using the companel. She switched on the video after a moment and looked at him through the camera with bleary eyes. "Oh. Good. You slept well, too, K.T."

Riley quirked the side of his mouth in a half-grin. "Yeah... Um." Anab just sat there, waiting. "...Had a rough night, trying to work things out... head... heart. Anab, I love you. I always will." She smiled and placed a hand on her comscreen. "I think... No. I know... 've got feelings for Jenny, too. It's confusing the hell out of me. But I gotta put all that aside... I need your help." Kevin sipped some more coffee, then looked up. "I think she's in trouble. I gotta help her, Anab. I know it's a lot to ask of you, but I need your input on this."

"K.T., if she's decided to move on, you have to respect that... Just like..." Anab sighed and rubbed at her cheek. "I love you, too, you know. It doesn't just stop, does it?" But eventually, the security officer nodded, "You think she's in trouble. Why?"

Riley paused, then shared what he knew about Jenny's past, as well as the _Yorktown_ sharing a call with her. "I think they're going to pick her up and hide her away... for good." He couldn't help but think it was his fault, somehow. He'd lose Jenny, any way, despite all the precautions. "She sounded so resolute. She can't have liked having her every decision second-guessed."

Anab considered all that Kevin was telling her. "It may be that she's been put at risk, that they need to get her to a safe place, where she'll be out of danger. K.T., you don't have any control over that. Maybe, it's just best to let her do what has to be done..." When she saw her ex-husband shake his head and set his jaw, Anab knew better than to continue trying to dissuade him. "No one on the _Yorktown_ is going to put you in the know with her. They might not even let you send a communique her way."

Kevin hung his head. "There has to be something."

Anab forced herself not to be upset. For one, it shouldn't matter what was happening to Kevin's new friend. The girl had obviously accepted whatever decision had been made. For another, seeing Kevin looking defeated like that stirred feelings of confirmation, once again, that Anab had made the right choice in at least attempting to move on, by letting their marriage contract expire. She put all this aside, however, since it was possible this woman, Hogan, might actually need someone in her corner. Anab would not ignore the possibility. "You or I might not be able to figure something out... but perhaps Admiral Kirk would?"

Kevin peeked up beneath sweat-soaked bangs. "Anab..! You're right! Admiral Kirk would know what to do. I could kiss you! You're brilliant!" He grinned at her, his lips all lopsided.

_The Riley smile_, Anab thought. That was what had won her to begin with, along with that final ploy to continue their marriage, before the _Starhawk_ had left port. She smiled and shook her head. "Good luck, K.T."

* * *

Leonard McCoy set about making a pot of coffee. He preferred percolators, one of the few antiques he shared a love for with Jim. He figured his old friend would appreciate the hot coffee. Jim was taking a call, which had turned his perky and upbeat attitude this morning into something the doctor hadn't seen since sharing a ship with the once captain. When Jim said his goodbyes, McCoy handed him a cup of joe. "Boss giving you a weekend call?"

"Nogura's been oddly quiet, since we took our trip. No... not the boss." Kirk sipped the coffee and complimented McCoy, "Got a question for you, Bones. What are the chances of your ex-wife showing up in the middle of a budding romance?"

McCoy made a face, "Mine? Hopefully zero. Yours? Well, that had ought to be near one hundred percent, since it's supposed to be the same thing... Wait, you mean your contract's expired too?"

Jim shook his head, "No. This isn't about Lori, and no it hasn't... won't, if I can help it."

McCoy grunted and gave a nod, then added, "You want real statistics, try prying that pointy-eared hobgoblin friend of yours from the desert rock he's clung to." The old doctor grumbled and sipped his own coffee, then looked up, "Why?"

Jim gestured with his communicator, "That, was my aide, Kevin Riley. He just informed me that not only has his ex-wife shown up, but the _Starhawk_ is in port. And that the _Yorktown_ is on her way to dock, within the day."

"Harsh. And he has a girl with him? What does it have to do with the _Yorktown_ coming in, though? Plenty of coincidence there, Jim." McCoy set about getting English muffins split and toasted as he listened.

"That's the thing, Bones. Apparently, she's mixed up in all of this." Kirk mulled over that piece of information. He had recognized her from somewhere. "There's something to this, Bones. Kevin's got good instincts, if he'd just follow them, and I think he is now. And don't you think I should know when starships are coming into port at the planet I'm on?"

"Well, don't look at me, Jim. I'm not a space traffic controller. I don't know these things, anymore." Quite pointedly so, he wanted to add. "So, call up this lady and see what's going on."

Jim gave a slow nod, "Riley said he wasn't able to contact her. I think we'll both go. What's an admiral for, if not to fix problems? Riley seems to think she's in a bind with some division of Starfleet. I might be able to do something."

McCoy grabbed Jim's arm, as the other man was already halfway moving towards the door, "Now, Jim. I did not advise you to up and leave. What am I gonna tell Lori?"

Jim hardened his look, "I think she knows. I'm hoping not. Make something up if you have to, Bones. I'll make it up to Lori later." And Bones, too.

"Wonderful." McCoy shoved a breakfast sandwich in Kirk's hand, "Eat your breakfast, Jim. Sounds like you might be on your toes, a bit."

* * *

Jenny smiled. She wasn't a telepath at all, but she did have a high enough EMP reading to have a sense when someone dear was close by. "One?" The shorter woman was lounging in something that looked like a burrito wrap from a corner stand on the west coast of North America, save for the avocado mask, the cucumber slices over her eyes, and a towel turban.

The older woman, in her sharp light blue uniform, observed the pampered news producer. "This is how you're spending your last day as Jenny Hogan?" Frankly, Number One could not understand why any woman would go through such torture. There were better techniques and less messy ones, for sure, to obtain optimal suppleness.

"Spoiled sport." Jenny smiled. "It's good to 'see' you. Even if it's my last day." As Hogan or anyone else possibly.

One raised a brow, "You have a day or so of travel ahead, as well."

"Doesn't count." Jenny screwed her mouth into a question, "Does travel ever count?"

Folding her arms, One countered, "You'll be on a starship again."

Jenny pouted, "Confined to quarters. Not serving. Not the same." Jenny removed the cucumbers from her eyes and looked up at the solid form of her former senior officer. "I would have gladly been your science officer, One. Or heck, even be a yeoman again."

One found a seat and perched in it, as graceful as a swan. "That would have been nice. It was never an option, Jenny. You have to know that." Jenny nodded and laid her head back down. "We docked ahead of schedule."

"So I saw. Does that mean I have to crawl out of this death shroud and don another?" The nonplussed reaction made Jenny roll her eyes. "It was a joke, One."

One frowned and noted, "This is no joking matter, Jenny. It's your life. It's also whatever impact you cause on our timeframe. For good or bad."

"For good or bad..." Jenny gave a sober look to One, "Mia hasn't talked with Daddy in years, One. Years. Over a decade at least."

One unfolded her arms and unveiled her surprise, "You contacted Alan Colt?" This was peculiar. One's reaction made Jenny frown and curl up in her body wrap.

Jenny looked down, reflecting, "Figured at this point, it wouldn't matter. Either it'll never have happened, or if it did, it'll be okay that it did."

One sighed, "I suppose that makes a sort of logical sense. Indirectly. Still, a risk, given how much you've been watched." One considered the tangent and rerouted the conversation. "We showed up early so you and I could have some free time, together. Like old times."

That brought on a smile. "Before special section barred contact..." Jenny pulled her arms out from the wrap and sat up a bit. "You must have hauled ass to get here."

One matched with a slight smile of her own, "Warp Factor 8. Not our top speed."

Jenny chuckled, "You thought I'd slept in late..." She looked into the distance for a moment.

Raising a brow, One asked, "What is it?"

"Kevin Riley called me last night... He was... inebriated. Just..." Jenny took in a breath and sighed. "You won't remember anything, will you? When it's done."

Shaking her head, One remarked, "None of us will. Either will he." Jenny gave a sober nod to that. "I, for one, wish I could remember. Over the years, I've thought of you and Mia as twin sisters. And though I'd been told not to contact you, I was still able to see how you were, and I still considered you my friend." One took a tissue from a box and folded it just so, before taking Jenny's oil-soaked hand. "What did they put in there with you?"

"They called it 'pancaea' enfused with micronutrients and phytonutrients. I think it's olive oil and lemon juice. I feel like a human salad." Jenny began peeling the layers off. "Alright. Come on. I'm gonna clean up and then we're going to go find something fun to do."

One gave a sour look, "Does it involve more oils and cucumber slices?"

"Oh, nothing so simple as that." Jenny took off the turban. Her natural red hair had been returned to its color, which she enjoyed seeing in the far mirror. Jenny wiped herself down and stepped into the sonic shower. "There's a theme-park on the next island over. You remember Relax Bear and Friends?"

Another frown from One, "We're going to a kiddie park? Jenny... Please reconsider your choices."

Jenny called from beyond the door, "There's some thrill rides, too! But I want to try the midway and win a bear! Indulge me. It won't matter a couple of days from now."

"That's one way to stay positive," drolled One. "If you win this bear, you aren't intending to carry it around all day..."

Jenny peeked out with a grin. "Nope."

"Oh, good." There was a pause and One crossed her arms, "Now, wait a minute..."


	13. Midway

The world rearranged itself before Kevin Riley's eyes as his beam over to the island finished. He looked over at Admiral Kirk, who waited just outside the telepad. Riley walked down the steps and sighed, "Are you sure about this, Admiral?"

"If we're in uniform, she might be a bit skittish. And if she has Starfleet with her, then they'll be on the lookout for other uniformed personnel. The _Starhawk_ was able to pinpoint her last known location to the Relax Bear theme park. Hope you like amusement rides, Kevin." Kirk handed Riley a tricorder. "Only use it if you must. Park security might not like it if we're looking for someone on their watch. The less brought in on this the better, though. I have a feeling I know who's with her."

"Who?"

Kirk was hesitant to say, since his hunch might very well affect his aide, if it turned out to be true. Even so, James Kirk figured that two sets of eyes looking for two figures was better than one set for one and one set for two. As they got their tickets and stood in line for entry to the theme park, Kirk kept his eyes out, "Have you ever seen Admiral Rogers, before? Robbins, before she made rank to brass." The reasons for the name change were murky, at best, but Kirk knew Nogura to be behind it.

Kevin Riley had met plenty of the brass, and no doubt, had met Rogers, as well. "She had your PR position until just before Apollo Day." Jim nodded and waited for Riley to put the two names together. It took him awhile to recall her, and then it clicked. "Robbins was first officer of the Enterprise, before Mister Spock, right?"

"Under Captain Pike, yes. She was the first female captain in the Federation. Some of us refer to her as Nogura's Vulcan. She's one of our best, but she's a bit of an ice queen to most." Kirk grimaced, and looked back to Riley, "...which means, we can't have security help track Jenny down. Rogers would sniff them out really quick." As they entered the themepark, Riley held open the old-fashioned fold-out map. Kirk frowned at the cumbersome thing. "You could have just accessed their library for a map."

"Harder to hide behind a PADD, Admiral." Kirk rolled his eyes. Riley gave a small smile, "Besides, I can memorize the map pretty quickly. We can otherwise use it as needed."

"Still, I would be more at ease with a digital copy." Riley complied and Kirk thanked him. "How well do you know Jenny Hogan? What sort of thing would she want to do, here?" Kirk tried to think, as well, knowing what he knew.

Riley sat back on his heels and considered. Given what he knew about the news producer, "Maybe one of the water rides... Or... Wait. Admiral, they have a racetrack. I think she might try this out. Especially if they have motorcycles."

Kirk smiled and clapped Riley on the back, "Perfect. She might be worried about you showing up, given your drunk dialing last night." Kevin blushed in embarassment behind his beard. "So maybe I should try that one out.. but..."

"What?"

"How attached are you to your beard, Kevin?" The Irishman stroked at the short and trim sides, giving his C.O. a wary look. "It's just that... you might get approached. You'd stick out like a sore thumb... And she's never seen you clean-shaven, am I correct?"

Riley sighed dejectedly. Kirk had some points. "Aye, Admiral. On all points."

"It's too bad, Riley. I rather liked the beard on you and apparently, it's a bit of a sex symbol here."

Kevin blinked at the news. Well... That explained the overexcited blonde from the day before. ...And a few stares that had gotten under Kevin's skin. "I see." How long did the admiral know that certain fact? "I doubt there's a barber here."

"We can always ask the _Starhawk_ to beam down a kit for you." Kirk couldn't help but chuckle when he saw Riley give a sad nod. "It'll grow back, Kevin."

"Aye, sir. I'll just look underage." Especially since Riley wouldn't be in uniform.

"Trust me, Riley. When you get older, you'll be thankful for that babyface." Kirk grinned and started them walking in the direction of the racetrack.

* * *

"This is not a starship nor a ship at all. Not even a transport. The controls are all wrong." Number One protested as Jenny pointed out how the motorcycle worked.

"This is child's play compared to a helm, One. You'll be fine. Just keep your balance. There's nothing like having the wind in your face!" Jenny grinned and gave her old friend a hug, before fastening her own bike suit together.

Number One did not seem placated. She murmured, "Or the road in your skin, apparently."

Jenny pulled on her helmet, and turned on the mic. "What was that?"

One did the same, and secured her chin strap. "Nothing. You did state these have safety restraining shields, correct?"

Jenny showed One where the shield controls were. "Of course. The themepark wouldn't allow something unsafe to run on their grounds. ...If you're really that unsure, you could always ride with me."

One looked the contraption over again, before stradling the bike. "No. I'm sure I can handle this contraption. It just doesn't make as much sense as more modern technology."

Jenny mounted her bike and spoke into the mic, "It has its own sense, One. It was made for a different era. The roads were everywhere, back then. These things were built to turn on a dime!"

"...Can you even find a dime, these days?" One murmured to herself as Jenny took off ahead of her. She went through the instructions, revving the motor, to be sure, before taking off in a streak behind her young friend.

The bike's shields flared up a couple of times, as One got used to riding and driving the old-styled machine. It took her a few moments to get used to it, but as Jenny Hogan had pointed out, it was fairly simple to work out compared to most transports and certainly starships' helms. In time, she was able to match Jenny's speed. "Woohoo! See what I mean? Switch your shields up, and you can raise your visor... The shields will let in the wind only." Hearing her old friend's voice sound through the small speaker in her helmet, One grinned.

"This is certainly different, Jenny," noted One. It reminded her a bit of horseback riding. Chris had brought her to a ranch once, and taught her how to ride. One sensed a parallel in the experience, as it had happened just previous to Pike's accident. "We don't have to go there, you know. I can take you someplace else, if you want. You can start a new life... I'll talk to the brass, and make them see."

Jenny smiled into the wind, enjoying the ride, even though they were only riding donuts. "How many times will I have to start over, One? How many friends will I have to say goodbye to, over and over again? No, Mister Spock's right. This is the only way to know, really. It's worth the risk."

"But are you?" asked One, tying the redhead in their race. The two slowed down to a stop, and each took off their helmet.

"If I'm to live and not just exist.. then, yes." Jenny Hogan looked at Number One with such conviction, the older woman was reminded of Jenny's progenitor.

One shook her head, "Stubborn." Her mouth turned upwards into a slight smile, however.

* * *

Lori sat at the kitchen table, fuming. McCoy poured another cup of coffee for her and sat down. "I'm sure he'll be back after awhile, Lori." The black liquid passed her lips and the admiral looked over to the old country doctor.

"Jim Kirk off on one of his adventures, doing who knows what," she said, knowing full well what that likely involved. She'd checked in with the _Starhawk_, as well. It did her no good to chase off after her husband, she knew. Partly, she imagined, Kirk needed adventure in his life and was seeking it through his aide's dilemma with Jenny Hogan. However, she also had her own orders. ...But she didn't want McCoy to find out about them and clue Jim in. It gave her a sinking feeling, whatever Nogura had said about it 'just being work.'

"If it makes you feel any better, I didn't get invited along, either." McCoy sipped his coffee and sat, thoughtfully. "I don't suppose you have any idea what's going on?"

Lori shrugged, "What I know, I'm not permitted to say... It could be something completely different."

"Why don't you and Jim work on it together, then? You're both admiralty. You're both amazing at getting things done."

"Don't flatter me, Leonard. Jim and I haven't been allowed to work together on a project in I don't know how long. Nogura likes his projects neat and tidied up." She looked over to McCoy wearily. "This was my last hope to patch things up with him, Leonard. He needs his ship. More than he needs me. More than he needs anything else in the universe." It was humbling, to think that Jim Kirk would consider her above that need, even for a little while. But, Lori knew better. She'd try and find a way to support him, get him in position to get a ship again. And then, what?

McCoy patted Lori on the shoulder, "You're preaching to the choir, Lori." He wondered, offhand, if Jim had mentioned how the doctor had yelled and hollared at Admiral Nogura upon finding out Jim had been kicked upstairs. "Others have made it work, though. Captain April, himself... though that was years ago... And there's Captain Rabin, or Admiral Rogers—and she gother ship back."

"Yes, she did..." Lori murmured into her coffee cup. McCoy did a doubletake, then went to fetch some breakfast sandwiches. "So help me, Leonard, though... If Jim goes off on some damned crusade, it won't just be him to explain himself to Nogura."

"So, what are you gonna do, then?"

Lori looked up from her cup and shook her head. "Because I love my husband... nothing." She closed her eyes shut. Though she knew she was ignoring orders from Nogura, she was also far more loyal to Kirk, and besides, it was the first decision regarding work that felt right, since this vacation began.

* * *

Riley glanced up from his tricorder and gave a nod. "...Admiral Rogers... Illryian readings... ...And Jenny's..Sir." Riley showed the tricorder to Kirk, who ran the scan over the distant figures again.

Kirk looked up and nodded, "Tachyon particles... Temporal fluctuations. It's just as I thought."

"Sir? What's happened to her? Will she be alright?"

"Riley, I think we should get that story from Jenny, don't you?"

The midway itself wasn't busy, save for people walking from ride to ride. Jenny took her time to eye the different setups. Most of the games were Terran in origin, but there were a couple that had been improved with techniques and materials from other cultures. Number One observed Jenny try a couple of games. Having spent some credits and not seeming any further than she was, One offered that perhaps they'd do better in the pachinko parlor nearby. "I'm just getting warmed up!" protested the redhead.

Riley moved to stop his commanding officer, "Adm-"

"Kevin, call me that again, and I'll deck you. They could hear us." Kirk frowned and watched the people around One and Jenny as much as he did the two women. Finally, he took Riley aside and spoke quietly, "It's worse than I thought." He gripped Riley's shoulder and chanced Jenny Hogan staying until she won something. When Kirk was sure it the coast was clear, he asked Riley, "Have you ever heard of Thirty-one? Or section thirty-one?"

"Sir?" Obviously, Riley hadn't.

Kirk gave a sigh, "They claim to be an unofficial division of Starfleet. They see themselves as above regulations and answerable to no one. They're more of a cell group. We've run into them before, though I didn't clue the crew in, when it's happened. It's generally safer, that way. ...I should have brought you in on this a long time ago, but..." The admiral made a face and grit his teeth.

Riley understood, "You thought to protect me." Kirk nodded. Kevin looked out into space and noted, "Jenny said she couldn't tell me much about her past, but that after an accident, she had to live a new life and the people who watched her didn't want her involved with me... or anyone in Starfleet."

Kirk gave a nod, noticing some familiar faces from the racetrack. "Might be some legit folks that watch her, but I wouldn't doubt Thirty-one has their little digits involved as well. They're being watched right now, and not just by us." Kevin was watching Jenny, his face sullen. "We could just go up to them and say 'hi.'"

"Would they try anything?" Riley set his jaw. He had so many things he wanted to ask Jenny, now. Who was she, really?

"Out in public, like this? No." But the men didn't get their chance. As soon as they headed back towards the Midway, a crowd watching One and Jenny play for the big prize roared with applause.

Jenny squealed and hugged Number One. "We did it!" The redhead grinned from ear to ear. The game they had chosen was something that required precision and athletic prowess both. By working together in turn, the two women managed to take down the unique statues that were hovering over a table, as wind and fountains of water alternated as blockades. The tall man attending the booth, covered in pebble-sized spots down each arm and up around his face, reached up and fetched the giant Relax Bear and handed it over to Jenny. She hugged the bear and danced with it, grinning and spinning.

One had either noticed Kirk or the men from the racetrack, however, and took Jenny's hand. She led her quickly through the crowd. "We're being followed." There was a pointed glare towards the prize the two had just won.

Jenny frowned, "But..." She'd really wanted that bear. However, the younger woman knew better. Within moments, a little boy was happy as he'd ever been, for getting a giant Relax Bear from two nice ladies.

"I think it'd be best to return to my ship, at this point," noted One.

The redhead beside her sighed, "All good things..." One placed a hand on Jenny's shoulder and gave a nod, before flipping open her communicator and contacting the _Yorktown_. Just as the world was about to come undone and knit itself back together, Jenny saw them. Kirk and, "Kevin?!" The name dropped from her lips as she found herself on the transporter pad. She turned to One, "But... they're friends."

Admiral Rogers gave a nod, "And I can tell you right now, James Kirk won't want you to go through with the trial Spock has set before you."

Jenny blinked, "Why?" From what she'd read about Jim Kirk, Spock was his trusted friend and advisor... or had been. "I realize the stakes. Believe me, I do. It's my life, here... but..." Rogers gave the look to Jenny that it wasn't to be talked about openly. Jenny glanced to the transporter chief, then followed her friend through the corridors. It soon became noticeable that they were the only ones about. "Everyone on leave?"

"Jenny, only a handful know you're aboard. This is a bit of a secret mission. You'll have to wait in your quarters, until we arrive." Rogers opened the door to the guest quarters and bade Jenny welcome. "It's not much, but it's home."

Jenny smiled at the small chamber, "Yeah..." She'd missed those cramped quarters. And Kevin had been right about the suite they'd had, it wasn't much bigger than this. "One, why do you think Kirk would be against this mission?"

"The place where we're going put Kirk in a couple of life or death situations, not too unlike what you face, Jenny. Except it wasn't his own life, but another's... both people he had come to care about, possibly more." One took some wine from the servitor and handed a glass over to her friend. "I can assure you, Admiral Kirk wants never to deal with that planet again. And, I can't blame him."

"You don't think I should go through with this..." Jenny frowned, her arms wrapping about her small waist.

"I think had Chris been given a chance to rethink the event, things would have gone better for both you and Mia. ...You were both in agreement about the impact on the future you'd seen, though. Both of you, so stubborn." One shook her head and sipped her wine. "If it were me, I'd talk to Chris, instead of stopping the accident."

Jenny shook her head, "And have three of us arguing? I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy, let alone Chris Pike." That earned Jenny a chuckle from One. "So... You go by Rogers, these days?"

"A necessity of the times." One tugged on a silver lock of hair and smiled. She walked over to the comm, "Sanchez, our esteemed guest is safely aboard. Please input the coordinates I shared with you and have D'wara put us en route."

"_Aye, sir._"

Number One turned around, "This Kevin Riley... He seems pretty important to you."

Jenny blushed and sank into her seat, noting the stars streaming past, in the porthole. She really was aboard a starship again. "He is. ...I mean, he's the first person I've had a serious connection with, since becoming 'Jenny.' It's just." Jenny blinked at One's raised brow, "What?"

"Kirk's going to tell him, you realize that. Seeing you with me, Jim's going to know who you are, or an idea at the very least. Two and two put together, and your friend Riley is going to know everything." One leveled a cool gaze at her young friend, who was beginning to follow One's deduction. "We can hold orbit when we arrive, in case they choose to follow. You could talk with him. ...Unless you're running away."

Jenny furrowed her brow, "Mister Spock offered this as an alternative. To Tal—!" She lowered her voice, "To _there_!" Jenny shook her head, "I won't live in a gilded cage and I won't live a dismal existence not living up to my potential. This isn't about Kevin Riley."

"Are you sure?" One knew how passionate Mia Colt had been, on occasion, with the opposite sex. Jenny was likely to be the same. One didn't want this to be an excuse.

Jenny gripped the arms of her chair and ducked her head, "Alright. It is, but it isn't in the way you think." She looked up at One, frankly, "I've been living my life, since then, second-guessing myself at every single turn. Until he showed up. And the moment I take charge and initiate a friendship with him, all hell breaks loose from Thirty-One. If not Kevin Riley, it'd be some other person. They don't want me to be important to anyone. They've estranged everyone I've loved. I can't take it anymore. That's not life. That's not living. Neither is living out some fantasy life, while giant-brain people sit back and eat popcorn like you're some Twentieth Century movie, there for their entertainment. Thank you, but no thank you."

One gave a deadpanned look, "I see you've thought about this a great deal."

Jenny frowned with a pout and folded her arms, "You bet your sweet bippy, I have."


	14. Race Against Time

Kirk and Riley departed their flitter onto the bay's platform, where the _Starhawk's_ captain, first officer, and security officer awaited them. "Permission to come aboard, Captain Akhmatova."

"Permission granted, Admiral Kirk." Kevin Riley didn't dare chance a look at Anab Saed, his ex-wife. It wasn't the time nor the place. He did, however, wonder how long she'd taken to decide to return to ship, after their last talk. "Admiral, this is my first officer, Commander Marsten, and my chief of security, Lieutenant Saed."

"Nice to meet you both. This is my aide, Commander Riley." With the formalities out of the way, Kirk and Riley followed the other officers away from the shuttle bay.

"Lieutenant Saed and I will meet you in the arboretum. Commander, would you please show our guests to a changing room?"

"Aye, Captain. This way, Admiral, Commander. If you don't mind, we'll have some uniforms available to you."

Riley caught a glance from Anab and muttered, within earshot of the Admiral. "So much for leave..." Jim guessed it was Kevin's way to deal with his worries about his friend.

Marsten showed the men to a changing room and procured appropriate uniforms for ran and division, "The captain informed me of your plight, Admiral. Are you sure where Admiral Rogers and the _Yorktown_ are going?"

Kirk pulled off his shirt, showing he'd still kept a fit form. He pulled on the white undershirt and answered the commander, "I have more than a hunch, Commander. See if we can catch them before they arrive."

Marsten noted, "Without knowing the destination, sir, it will be difficult to input the best course."

Kirk smiled and nodded at Kevin, who was a bit slower in getting dressed, "My aide knows where we're going. If you don't mind him sitting at navigation. Riley?"

Kevin pulled on the tunic portion of the uniform and began to adjust the belt, "Sir... Are you sure I know the heading?" This was news to him.

Kirk folded his clothes and took a moment to pause. "You've memorized the entire five-year tour we took on the Enterprise, didn't you?" He raised his brows to stress, "As part of your preparation for your teaching assignment at the Academy?"

"Aye, sir..." stammered Riley. Which of the countless planets the Enterprise visited could Jenny be interested in? He folded his clothes while considering it all.

Kirk patted Riley on the shoulder, "Then you'll set a course, for us... if you don't mind, Riley?"

Kevin looked back at his CO. "I have no objections, sir."

"In the meantime..." Kirk handed his clothes off to a yeoman, "Commander, if you could direct your navigator to set us for Sector 90, in the Beta Quadrant, that will get us set in the right direction."

"Of course, Admiral Kirk. I'll inform Captain Akhmatova, as well."

"Thank you."

* * *

The botanical gardens were easy enough to find on the map. Kirk filled Riley in what he could on the way there, "Riley—Kevin. We're going to Gateway, in the_ Alpha Zeti_ system. When we get there, you're going to have to confront Hogan." Kirk quieted and shook his head. "It's like it's happening, all over again." He looked at Kevin with a protective gaze. _No one should have to face that kind of decision._ And, on a none too recent trip to Gateway, they'd nearly lost Spock. "That place flirts with death." The words made a chill run down Riley's spine, and he considered asking Kirk about the landing missions the times they'd gone there, before. Wherever _there_ was. Kevin still wasn't sure.

The doors shifted, permitting Kirk and Riley to a lush English garden. An array of flowers and greenery filled the large room, striking a very different air from the meditation garden of the Enterprise. Jim reflected how much of Spock and Sulu both had gone into it. With the refit, of course, the botanical garden would be one of the last areas developed prior to her next voyage. Thinking about the _Enterprise_ gave the admiral a pang of desire to return to her again. The _Starhawk_ was a nice ship, but she wasn't Kirk's ship.

Riley was doing his best to enjoy the garden for a small moment, but his allergies soon flared up. After about the third sneeze in, Kirk asked Riley to wait outside. The commander thanked his superior officer and excused himself.

After a moment, the doors shifted open and Anab Saed joined Riley outside the garden, "I'd forgotten your allergies..." She smiled at Riley's attempt to grin despite the flare-up. "So, we're chasing her, now?" There was a bit of hurt in Anab's eyes, but to her credit, she didn't seem jealous, even then.

"The Admiral thinks she's in danger. He's probably talking details with your captain, now..." Kevin wasn't sure whether he wanted to know the niceties, at this point. He paused, then began, "Anab, I wanted to..."

"K.T." Anab shook her head. "I know. I can see it in your eyes. You're conflicted and feeling guilty... Am I right?" He gave a nod. "But, more than anything else, you're just plain worried. ...And for that, I can't very well get upset. Hell, I gave up the right to be." They exchanged glances. "We'll get you there. You do what you have to, so she's safe..."

Kevin Riley looked into Anab's dark eyes, feeling his heart swell for her. He nodded, "Thank you for understanding..." Anab smiled and pet Riley's cheek with the back of her hand.

"You shaved it off." He chuckled a bit, in response. Anab chortled, "Always felt like a pervert. You look seventeen." They both laughed and Riley stroked his clean-shaven face.

"It'll grow back."

Kirk and Akhmatova came out from the garden and greeted the other officers. Anab smiled shyly at Kevin, before excusing herself to return to her post. The three entered the turbo lift and set forth for the bridge. Once there, Riley was given navigation control in order to input the course to Gateway. He'd been aboard the _Enterprise_ when they'd visited the planet, before, but the nature of the place was top secret, as were the headings, though he of course knew them. That Jenny Hogan was en route to such a place felt like a lead weight in his stomach. He hoped he'd get a chance to talk some sense into her.

Setting aside his feelings for now, Kevin Riley brought up the star charts and quickly figured a course, knowing some short-cuts he'd worked out from other missions. "Course set, Admiral." Two days ago, he'd been worried about how to nurture a friendship with a petite redhead named Jenny Hogan. In two days, he'd faced his ex-wife, emotions all over the map, and the reality of his situation in life. It'd been a whirlwind. Now, they were in a race against time to beat the _Yorktown_ to the_ Alpha Zeti_ system. He had to call on all his training and experience to see the ship in to orbit before the other starship-which had a start on them-could arrive.

* * *

Admiral Kirk, confident in Riley's abilities as a navigator, grudgingly left the bridge of the _Starhawk_ to its captain and made his way to the conference room. He sat down in front of the companel and requested the communications officer to connect him back to Centaurus. It took some doing, but eventually, the call went through. "Bones..." From the look on his friend's face, Jim felt numbness sink into his limbs. "Where is she?"

"_Jim, I did my best to talk her through, keep things upbeat. She's left, Jim. Back to Earth, I figure._" McCoy saw the look on his best friend's face, seeing the same emotions run across the features that McCoy himself had felt when Jocelyn finalized their divorce. There was, hope, he felt. "_Jim, she doesn't hate you. There's still a chance._"

Kirk let his face retain a mask of poise and dignity. He was in uniform, after all. "I'm not so sure, Bones—Listen, I... I need to get ahold of Spock, but you mentioned this ritual he's undertaken."

"Kolinahr_, Jim. It's not just some fancy Vulcan voodoo with celery and carrots. Spock's serious about it. And if you contact him, Jim... He's gonna try an' cut all ties with you._" The half-glare at the mere thought on the doctor's face brought a slim smile to Kirk's face. McCoy was always passionate about the ties that bind. "_Don't you let him do it, either! What's he got to do with you running off anyway?_"

"Former crewmates of his, from Pike's command. Bones..." Jim looked up at his friend over the communique, "It's Edith, all over again."

McCoy's expression dropped. He'd been there-hell, he'd been the one to try and save the woman-which, he'd found out, was the wrong thing to do. "_Riley's friend?_" Kirk gave a nod. "_The Guardian?_"

"The Guardian." Kirk felt his eyes close, then open again. "We should have a general order against using that place." It was more dangerous than other off-limit worlds. "This _Kolinahr_, Bones..."

"_Pure logic, Jim. As if the man wasn't already too far away from a warm-blooded compassionate heart. He's not the Spock we knew._" Seeing the upset on McCoy's face, Kirk could only reflect on how he'd become estranged from his two best friends, since their departure from the Enterprise. It hurt in ways that dug deeper than the day Lori'd left him.

"I see... Thanks, Bones. I'll keep you posted..." McCoy muttered an affirmative, before Kirk closed the call.

* * *

"Admiral Rogers. It's the _Starhawk_, sir. Admiral Kirk is aboard and wishes to speak with you."

"I'll take it in the conference room." One turned to Jenny, "It's possible Kirk has an alternative, though he may be trying to buy time in order to get to Gateway when we do. Anything you have for me to relay?" Jenny got that One meant more for Kevin Riley's sake than the admiral's.

"Just this...It's a quote that's stayed with me all these years. ...How did it go?" She searched for the words, then quoted the best she could, "'The truth is, I love being alive. And, I love feeling free. So, if I can't have those things, then I feel like a caged animal and I'd rather not be in a cage. I'd rather be dead. And it's real simple. And I think it's not that uncommon.'" A look passed between the two women, both sharing a common memory of being in a very real cage, ages ago.

"Who said that?" asked One. It summed up how they'd all felt, on Talos IV, and the life Jenny had been living since coming back from the alternate future.

"Angelina Jolie, an actress from the turn of the 21st century." said Jenny. One hadn't recognized the name, but then, she wasn't a movie fan, like her younger friend.

* * *

"_Jim Kirk_," said One. She sat at the companel, alone in the conference room. She recognized a similar setting across the communique.

"Timothea Rogers. Robbins? One?"

The female admiral donned a smile Mona Lisa would be proud of, "_Pick one. Whatever you're going to say to dissuade Jenny Hogan, Jim, best say it now. She's about as stubborn as they come._"

"It's nice that you're direct and to the point, Rogers. Yes, I've figured out where you're taking Jenny Hogan, but I don't think I need to dissuade her. She doesn't command a starship. You don't have to take her there, and I can see how tired your eyes are, Rogers. You don't want to bring your old friend to Gateway. So don't do it. Simple as that." Jim spread his arms in a gesture to guide the point.

Rogers gave a solemn cant to her head, _"And what happens to her, Jim? We put her on some far-away colony, where she lives out a mundane life not of her choosing? That's why she's at the end of her rope. It doesn't solve things for her._"

Kirk reminded his fellow admiral, "It's not our place to solve things for this woman, Rogers. We're explorers, protectors, and representatives of the Federation and Starfleet. It's not our responsibility to handhold people who aren't happy with how life has turned out for them."

"_Jim, you know she's been hounded and harassed by Thirty-One. That one point makes it our responsibility._" Rogers knew they were playing politics on some level, but both Kirk and herself were considering the needs and ramifications both.

"I was wondering when you were going to bring them up, Rogers. I know that you're no fan of Section Thirty-One, either. So fight them. Head on. Give Hogan a position on your ship. You have the power to reinstate her. ...Unless you believe Captain Colt's assessment."

One's mouth dropped into a frown, "_I don't know what to believe, Jim._" The admission was painful. For all the experience she had, all the directness she could play in such a fluid and graceful manner, when it came down to this, she came up with little to no answers.

Kirk felt he was getting through to her. This was good. He looked Timothea Rogers in the eye and spoke frankly, "Then believe this. Once you are on that planet and talking to the Guardian, the choices start slipping away. And you may lose your friend, for good. And believe me, Rogers. Friends, life-long friends, are hard to come by. Don't go to _Alpha Zeti_. All you'll find there is death and regret." One could see that Kirk was speaking from experience.

"_I'll take your advice into consideration, Jim._"

"That's all I ask, Rogers."

"_Thank you. Goodbye._"

"Kirk out." Jim sat for a long while, before having Riley sent in to the conference room.

Kevin Riley stopped short. Jim Kirk resembled himself the day that Lori Ciana had left him. "...Sir?"

"Have a seat, Kevin. I need to brief you about where we're going." Riley took a seat, quiet as a mouse and just as intent to listen. "The _Yorktown_ is on her way to Gateway, as we feared. On the surface of the planet is an ancient and sentient being, known as the Guardian of Forever. He... It... is a portal to the past. When we discovered the planet, Doctor McCoy was souped up-accidentally, mind-and beamed down to the surface."

Riley mused, "I vaguely remember Doctor McCoy complaining about hypos and ...time surfing?" Kirk gave a slim smile at that. "...What is it, Admiral?"

"Riley, your friend, Jenny. I found a file on her. I'll show it to you, but first, I need to tell you about the first time we went to Gateway planet." Kirk told Riley how the universe had changed in the blink of an eye, when McCoy jumped through the Guardian's gate. "While he was in the past, Doctor McCoy recovered from his delusions. He saved someone's life. As a result, history changed. No discovery of warp technology. No first contact with the Vulcans. No Federation. Earth civilization was wiped from the face of history."

Kirk waited for this knowledge to sink in. That a good deed, done in compassion and with care, led to the doom of everyone who lived. "The Landing Team was left unaffected by the change, due to the proximity of the Guardian. Spock and I timed things so that we'd beat Doctor McCoy to the moment he saved that life. Kevin," Jim Kirk grasped Riley's shoulder. "We were there for two weeks before that moment. A lady, her mind so forward-thinking and beyond that era's understanding, took Spock and myself in, at a shelter for the poor. Her name was Edith Keeler. I fell in love with her, Kevin. I loved her more than I thought possible." Riley was taken aback by such frankness from his commanding officer. "She was who McCoy had saved-who I had to stop him from saving. Her life meant the end of human civilization."

"But how? She was forward-thinking... sir..." Kevin Riley was still boggling over all that Kirk told him.

"In the past where McCoy saved her, Edith's pacifist movement had prevented the United States from entering World War II... As a result, Germany and Japan won that war. Everything from then resembled less and less the history of our people. Authoritarianism, fascism..." Kevin began to understand, Kirk could see. "When we came back, after setting things back as they'd been... the _Enterprise_ was in orbit again, as though nothing had happened. But we remembered, McCoy, Spock, and myself." Three friends, and he had needed them both at that moment.

"Why would Jenny go to such a place?" Kevin recalled the night she had shared what she could about her past. "She'd mentioned an accident. ...You think she'll try to stop the accident? ...And those people will leave her alone... Section Thirty-One."

"That's what she wants to try." Kevin was about to ask him why it was bad, but Kirk stayed on top of it, "Kevin. The accident she's referring to is what led to her creation." Kirk turned the companel towards Riley, so he could view the file on Gateway.

Kevin Riley could hardly believe what he was reading, "Sir, this is from the _Enterprise_... almost a decade before our mission." Kirk nodded. Riley stared at the picture of Yeoman Colt and felt chills down his spine. "It's her."

Kirk gave a supporting gaze to his young aide, "Brace yourself, Kevin. You know the strange things that come with missions on the frontier. It comes with danger and surprises." Kevin's fingertips touched the picture, as he read on. "The file linked there is Colt's report, made just after she was returned from the Well of Tomorrows. They may now be two different people, but part of Jenny Hogan has to agree with Colt's affirmation regarding one person's effect on destiny."

Realization hit Riley like a hammer, and he looked up to Kirk with fear and anger both. "She can't. Sir, she _can't_!"

"Kevin, she's desperate. Timothea Rogers is a friend of Jenny's and isn't able to get through to her. ...But maybe _you_ _can_, Kevin. We'll beat them there, and I'll back you up, Commander." Kirk gave Riley's shoulder a grasp of support, before he stood up. Riley stood up as well and looked to his admiral.

"What if we don't convince her..?" Feelings of loss and abandonment that Riley had thought he'd left behind the day he'd brough G'dath safely home washed over the man. He had to stop her, somehow.

"Let's not make it an option, Riley. I'd rather not see the consequences of that action come to fruition."


	15. Who Wants to Live Forever

Number One and Jenny Hogan looked up as the hum of the engine quelled and starlines shortened greatly. The comm in the quarters sounded, soon enough. "Admiral Rogers, we've arrived at our destination."

One went to the wall comm and replied, "Are there any other ships in the system?"

"None detected, sir." One wasn't sure to be relieved or anxious at the news. It was more how Jim Kirk had spoken to her than precisely what he'd said. She knew Jenny was serious about going through this trial Mister Spock had set forth before her. It made logical sense. ...But it didn't make human sense. Even a sheltered life was better than having never existed, wasn't it?

Jenny got up and took a deep breath. "No cramming for this test, huh?" She gave a nervous smile.

"No," said One, sadly. "I hope you're right about this."

The redhead's eyes widened, "Well... Not that I'll be around to care if not, but yeah, I hope I'm right about this too. I've got so many butterflies in my stomach, you'd think it was Monarch mating season." She stuck her tongue out with a smile, but saw that One couldn't be cheered up. "It'll be alright, One. I'm sure about this."

There was a long pause held between the two friends. When asked what she'd do in Jenny's place, One considered, "I can't say. I can't imagine my life any different. Spending time, every day, making sure that my impact on society was minimal? I can't say that I don't understand in theory why you're risking this... But I don't know. How different would life be for you, if this goes the way you want? What will you do?"

Jenny considered, as they walked down the corridor, which was hauntingly empty yet again. "Mia's gone the Starfleet route. I don't think I'd take quite the same path. Maybe help our father with his shop, if it's still there... Or hit the books again and try for that new Daystrom Institute that just opened." She shrugged a bit, "Although being a producer at World News is pretty fun... Up until last month, it wasn't exactly adventurous, thhough."

One smiled, "You were always seeking adventure. Had Boyce getting all paternal over you, back then. Always volunteering for the landing crew. 'A yeoman! On a landing crew? Doesn't work out. Just get in the way.'"

Jenny laughed and smiled, "I'm sure he wasn't the only one thinking that, back then." That got One to smile. Good. "And it's not like I set precedent!"

* * *

They beamed down to the surface. Jenny couldn't help but feel a bit of _deja_ _vu,_ now that she was wearing a replica of her old operations uniform. She had her hair back in the same black bow she always had used in those days. The cut was a little different, of course. Still, if she ran into any one from the old _Enterprise_ crew before it came time, she was sure she would be able to blend in. "It seems so long ago."

"It was long ago. ...Only you haven't aged all that much. To me, you look exactly the same." That was saying a lot, considering how meticulous Number One could be. Jenny gave a slight smile and looked around. One took a few steps and scanned the area. "No one's here."

One noted the large portal across the causeway. She'd read that the contraption was sentient. "Are you the Guardian?"

"I am. A question, a question. I await that which requires an answer." The Guardian responded in kind, its masculine voice booming and solid, matching its very metalic and stony donut-shaped frame.

"Seek and ye shall find," commented Jenny Hogan, her eyes wide in wonder. "...I can feel the ripples of time coming off of it."

Number One gestured for Jenny to hold back. "We don't know how you might interact, given your condition."

"Geez, One. You make it sound like I've got a bun in the oven." Jenny smirked and blushed at the mere thought. She looked up at the megalith, "I've got tons of questions for you, Guardian. How many am I to ask-and that one doesn't count!-?"

The voice bellowed as before, "Questions you may ask in number past the days and nights of this world or any other."

One decided to air her thoughts, giving Hogan a look. "A bit cryptic, isn't it?"

Jenny smirked at that and faced the portal, "Just a little. Guardian, I've been touched by time. You can tell, can't you?"

There was no pause, as the Guardian of Forever responded, "That and more, Jenne Marie Colt." Jenny blanched at her birth name.

"Marie?" inquired One. Jenny waved her off, unwilling to give a long story of how she came by going by Mia, by the time she boarded the _Enterprise_. It was old news, and if One wanted to know, she could ask Mia. One prepared her tricorder, "Can you show us what happened that day on Algol Two?"

Jenny boggled as images from Pike's tenure on the Enterprise flashed across the breadth of the megalith's hollow. "It's too fast!"

"Fortunately, I was recording at the time." One replayed the recording, slowing it down in order to follow the course of events as played out on Algol Two. "There it is... And you returned. Twice. Mia appeared where she'd left Joe, and you were washed ashore from the Well of Tomorrows. Perhaps if we can get to the bottom of this, you won't have to go anywhere." _Wouldn't that be nice,_ she thought.

"Or anytime, you mean," corrected Jenny. "What happened, Guardian? Why are there two of me?"

"That place regarded the absence of Jenne Marie Colt. It found the moment you left and made you anew. Before the timestream could reestablish, you had returned," answered the Guardian, as simply put as these humans could comprehend.

Jenny wasn't sure what that meant, in the grand scheme of things, "So... which of us is the real me, then? Mia or Jenny?"

The Guardian answered, not unlike a parent to a child, "You are you and she is you also. You are both Jenne Marie Colt."

Jenny murmured with a pout, "...Do you think Section Thirty-one will buy it? Let me be me, for once?"

"The matters of man inquire not by me," spoke the megalith.

"I wasn't asking you." Jenny had to wonder if the Guardian secretly possessed a sense of humor and was just punking them. She turned to her friend and beseeched her, hoping for a positive answer, "One, will they listen?"

The answer came not from Number One, nor the Guardian, but from a commanding male voice behind them, "They listen only to themselves, Jenny. If you waste your time and energy on them, you'll never have enough for yourself and your life."

"Admiral Kirk! ...Kevin." Jenny turned and faced the men, her heart lurching at the sight of her Irish friend. He had circles under his eyes, visibly worried. Jenny felt more than a bit guilty for it, but she still believed strongly in the cause of the trial.

Kevin Riley spoke plainly enough. "Don't do this, Jenny." The two stared at each other a long while. Kirk, getting the hint, nodded his head with a cant towards Number One. She raised a brow and walked off with the other admiral, to give Riley and Hogan some space to talk.

Jenny closed the distance between them, seeing how Riley was stunned at seeing her in the old uniform. He hadn't even gotten to wear that version. "Kevin... I know. You're worried...but it's going to be okay. The universe will show I deserve to be here. I know it will. And then they can't hound me... we'll be free to be friends... This is me making good on that promise of mine." She had to make sure he didn't guilt-trip himself or worry too much.

Kevin shook his head, taking Jenny's hand in his and holding it dearly. "Don't. I'd rather you be safe and alive than never to have lived... What if..."

Jenny shook her head, and placed her hand to Kevin's cheek, reassuring him. "I'll be back. I know it. You've trusted me thus far."

Kevin closed his eyes at the touch. Even now, he thought of Anab. Despite the budding feelings he had for Jenny, they were overcast by an old flame that had claimed his heart for over two years. He focused now on keeping Jenny safe. He had to reason with her, "Yes, but this is different. This is your life."

"Kevin... If I don't go in there, they'll hide me away somewhere. Or worse. What kind of life is that?" Jenny shook her head, and chancing her heart, now, she admitted, "I want to be with you!" Her lips trembled at the words and for a moment, Kevin's heart skipped a beat, thinking she might kiss him. He understood, now. She thought if she didn't do this, they couldn't be together. She was willing to risk that much for a chance with him?

Kevin Riley pulled away and looked down, unable to meet Jenny's eyes, now. "I'm not worth the risk." Besides which, he didn't feel deserving of the pedestal Jenny had put him on. She began to protest, but Riley cut her off, almost coolly, "No. I'm not. Don't make me ask you again, Jenny." Now, he understood Anab's position, not so long ago. Despite whatever feelings might be there, sometimes harsh realities had to be faced.

Jenny felt her eyes water, but she stood firm in her convictions as well as her feelings for her friend, "You're wrong. You are worth it. And so is my freedom. And, my family." Even if Kevin Riley were to cut ties completely with her, she wouldn't change her mind.

"You're as stubborn as they come, you know that?" said Kirk to Jenny Hogan, as he returned with Number One.

"Ask Chris, if you see him someday, Jim. He knows." Jenny gave a firm nod to Number One, showing she was ready. Her friend, One, for all her cool demeanor, showed as sad a face as she ever could. Jenny nodded and eyed the three before her. "Don't come for me unless the timeframe changes for the worse." Kirk and One waited, both wearing grim faces. Kevin Riley was turned away from the group, unable or unwilling to face Jenny's decision. She gave him a wistful look and said, "See you soon." On One's mark, Jenny Hogan leapt through the portal, some time before the events on Algol Two.

Jim stared at the portal, as though summoning Jenny to come back by sheer will. He looked to Number One, when she opened her communicator. Riley was still turned away from them. "Rogers to _Yorktown_. I will be interfacing shortly with ship libraries. Any sign of other ships?"

"No, Admiral. Are there likely to be any ships in this area? I thought Command sent us out to check on the anomaly. ...Admiral, the anomaly has disappeared."

One raised her brow about the anomaly mentioned. "Thank you, Commander." She looked from Kirk to Riley and back, "I guess we'll see what changes occured. I'll check Colt's logs, first. That would be the immediate changes... what's happened to Mia, since there's no... no Jenny, now." It wasn't like her to stutter. In fact, she was quite sure she never had, before. The erasure of a lifetime from history was a daunting thing, though. And it seemed this non-existent woman was all but a memory to the three of them, and then, begged the question: For how long? None of them had stepped through the portal with her.

He'd been so quiet, but he couldn't any longer. Riley could barely hold himself together, his hands clenched into fists. "This is so damned morbid, Jim."

Jim's voice was soft, reassuring, and supportive. _Damn_ _this_ _place_! "I know, Kevin. Hold on. We'll find out what we can."

Number One compared the libraries as well as recordings from the Guardian. "The changes are very slight. Nothing worse or for better... As for Colt's logs, choice use of syntax, omission of self-doubt in introspection... Relationships with other crew members unaffected. Mia Colt's life seems to be the same as it was before."

Kevin had to fight for her, "What about Apollo Day? What happened?" He told himself that if Jenny hadn't been there, people would have died. She'd tried so much to be a hero too, that day.

One shook her head, knowing what Riley was up to, but unfortunately... "It looks to be the same. No mention of a woman being kidnapped, though. Same injuries and no one killed."

"Same slip-ups..." said Riley, defeated.

"Same heroics," added Kirk with a supportive nod.

One raised a brow and offered, "Here's the difference I've found, and it's the only one." Riley looked up, hopeful. "Jim, for some reason you canceled your trip to Centaurus. Why would Jenny being gone have changed that?"

Kirk was perplexed and blinked a couple of times, "I don't know." But then it came to him, "Wait, I do. I'd had a talk with Nan Doris, just about life. She'd found out about Lori... She said if I ever get that second chance, to take it and never let go. Said it was advice from her producer, Jenny." And then, they'd talked about Jenny's interest in Riley. Kirk couldn't help playing _yenta_, from that point.

Riley scowled, when he saw One continuing her search and shaking her head at the lack of change. He insisted, "She deserves a second chance."

One ignored Riley, for now. Kirk could be reasoned with. Riley, she felt, was too invested in Jenny Hogan to understand the trial and its impact on the universe. "Jim, other than that trip, really, there's no difference. What would we tell her, if we went in after her, with just this much? How would you feel if your life added up to so little?"

Kirk understood where each of them came from, as well as Jenny's intentions. He could only admit, "It's not really her fault, given the invisible tower Section Thirty-One tossed her in."

Kevin raised his arms from his side, in gesture, "I don't see why you're debating this. Jenny's my friend. I want her back. I can't lose her." _I won't, _he thought. So what if she didn't add up to a credit's worth to the universe. She was important to him. Maybe not in the way Jenny had hoped, but she'd won his loyalty if not his heart.

"Wait." One's face fell, from sad to grieved. She actually had tears welling up. What would they say about Nogura's 'Vulcan', now? "Jim... Look. These are small, but far-reaching effects of Jenny's absence from the timestream. All random fractals... Chaos theory in motion... What impact any one of us could have, just by simply having a cold on the wrong day."

Though One was trying to show him, Jim knew Kevin needed to hear the information. "How many lives saved or lost, Rogers?"

"...4,022 saved, across various sectors and events. In a few generations, that number becomes exponential." There was no arguing it, now. Jenny Hogan had gambled away her existence, and lost. Kevin Riley knew what that number meant. It meant there were 4,022 people who were living, now thanks to his friend's sacrifice. It meant that perhaps tragedies were avoided entirely, perhaps ones not too dissimilar from the one he witnessed as a child. It meant that there was one less caring, petite redhead in his life. He was too late. She was not only gone, but she never was there to begin with, barely a memory.

Despite what made sense, despite logic and reason, and the benefit of lives saved, Riley lurched forward, willing to risk time itself to find her. Kirk grabbed him and held him back, the action reminding Jim so much of when Edith had died. "Jenny wouldn't want you to stop her, with these results. She said as much. Kevin... Come on. It's time to go home." Kirk's voice was thick with emotion. He knew all too well, had expected all too well, what Kevin Riley was going through. There were so many parallels between them, these days. _Too_ _many_ _of_ _the_ _bad_ _sort_, Kirk mused.

* * *

They had beamed aboard the _Yorktown_, after Number One had suggested to setup a permanent recording station, just in case. Once aboard, they continued to follow breadcrumbs regarding the absence of one World News producer. Apparently, the other change made was that the _Starhawk_ had never flown them out this way, since they'd not made it to Centaurus to begin with. The skip seemed odd, and Riley wondered if there were two of him now, and if that meant he'd have to jump into oblivion like Jenny Hogan had. It felt like his heart already had, ahead of him. "I don't think we'll ever have that toast, Jim." The two were seated at the bar of one of the rec rooms aboard ship. Riley poured Jim Kirk a glass of fine Irish whiskey, then one for himself.

Kirk recalled the toast Riley referred to._ To new beginnings_... He considered where things put him with Lori Ciana and gave a sigh. "I'm guessing not, no. At least, not for awhile. We should toast something, though, dammit. We need something to brighten our spirits... other than spirits."

Riley was still woolgathering, worried and unsure what the future would bring. "Will I remember her, Jim? How her eyes danced when she laughed? The way the sun shone on her hair? How she could always seem to reach me, even when I was at my worst?" He couldn't have given her his heart, broken as it was, but he'd given Jenny what he could. And she'd plunged head-first into oblivion to risk a full life, one that she had wanted to share with him. He couldn't help but feel guilty. If she'd never met him, would she be happily going about her way at World News?_ ...It didn't matter now._

"Sounds like you fell pretty hard." Kevin Riley looked up at that, unsure whether he agreed with that summation or not. "And yes, you should. I remembered Spock when he vanished from our history." Of course, they had both gone into Orion history and traveled together. It may have been that Jim wouldn't have known, had he not gone with Spock, at that time. ...But the conjecture would not help avail Riley's downtrodden soul.

Kevin gave a nod and raised his glass of whiskey, "Bad timing, Jim. Worst timing in the world, and now it's too late. All the time ahead of me and she won't be there to share it with."

Jim raised his glass, to drink with his young friend, "I know it must seem crass to hear it, Kevin, but I know the feeling. To lady loves lost."

"Aye. To lady loves lost."

Moments after their toast and bonding more as friends than C.O. and subordinate, the bartender passed the two men's stools. After he'd passed, the stools were empty and under the counter. The glasses of whiskey were stocked in the servitor, along with the Irish whiskey. Both men were under the starry sky over San Francisco. Jim Kirk was asleep in his bed, and Kevin Riley, complete with beard, was fighting off night terrors. He hadn't had one in months, and later, he'd wonder what brought it on and why his heart was heavier than usual. There was always Tarsus IV in the back of his mind, but he'd dealt with it, he'd thought. Something was terribly wrong, and he'd push through as he always did, regardless.

* * *

**Epilogue**

Kirk's voice came out from the comm with a tin-flavored sound, "Riley, I want that report on my desk, ten minutes ago!"

Kevin Riley hit the button on his comm, "Yessir, I'm just finishing it up right now, Admiral!" He took a stack of PADDs, the one on top being the report Kirk needed so badly. He handed them off and explained the contents. As Kirk signed off on each one, he finally inquired about when Kevin Riley was going to tell him about his divorce to _Starhawk's_ security officer, Anab Saed. "Uh, yes... sir. About three months ago."

"Somehow it all makes sense, now. Well, you've more or less shown yourself capable, since then. That will be all, unless you have any more PADDwork for me to sign off on." Jim felt it was too late in the day to bully Riley about the man's personal life. He'd been doing well to nurse his own wounds, since Lori's decision not to renew their marriage contract.

"No, sir. That's all of it." Kevin Riley understood that Kirk wanted to ease their working relationship, so that they could better it, especially given the parallels in each man's life. But for now, Riley was accustomed to the daily grind. He wasn't about to throw a wrench into the works to see what happened.

Kirk looked up from his PADDs, professional but showing care in his amber gaze, "Very well. Dismissed."

"Aye, sir." Riley walked down the same corridor he'd always walked. He did the same last minute tasks he always did, before leaving from work. He went to the same pub, good ol O'Reiley's, the same time he did every night, looking at the same patrons he did every night, feeling as lonesome as he did every night. Something of a memory tickled his brain.

He seemed to recall this girl; she'd helped him that day. Gave him a PADD to borrow, since he'd left the one for Kirk at HQ. What was her name? Jenny... something or other. He checked his communicator, thinking he'd gotten her code... If he had, he must've erased it. He wondered who would be at World News this time of night. It wouldn't hurt to call, would it?

"Uh... hi. This is Commander Riley. I'm chief of staff for Admiral Kirk. Yes, that Kirk. And... what? Oh, no. Nothing official. Kind of a follow-up. I remember, back before Apollo Day... There was a producer who helped me out... I wanted to touch base with her. No, no. Just in thanks. Who? Uh... Jenny. Jenny... Hogan! Hogan, yes. It was definitely Hogan." He waited what seemed like forever, "No such person? Are you sure? Well she was... What was she? Redhead, petite... Little ball of sunshine. Yeah, definitely Jenny. Huh? No Jenny at all? ...Oh. Okay..." Riley didn't understand why, but he felt a terrible weight in his stomach. He couldn't have dreamed her up, could he?

_Excerpt from _**Shadows of Time: No More Tomorrows**

"Follow me," yelled the middle-aged Vulcan, as he called to his students. The unificationists clamored through the courtyard, towards a gate, all amidst disruptor fire between two factions of Romulans. As their teacher neared the exit, a Romulan sentinel guarding the gate placed the man in his sights and fired. A miss, thanks to another bolt sent towards the sentinel, by one of the students. However, the next bolt from the sentinel was close range and unavoidable. The student placed himself in harm's way, his chest heaving from the gaping wound of the bolt. "Save yourself, Teacher!"

The Vulcan cradled the young Romulan in his arms, eyes looking up from the young man to the barrel of a disruptor. "I am afraid that is no longer an option."

"Get up, rebel! Or I'll burn down the two of you!" sneered the guard.

"I cannot," explained the Vulcan, his voice smooth though defiant, "This one is hurt. He needs help." Of course, the man knew he would glean no sympathy from the Romulan sentinel, but it was unlikely his life would continue for much longer, given the situation.

The sound rang out, just another sound of death and technology within the chaos of the courtyard on Constanthus, which would become to be known as the place where Ambassador Spock fell.

* * *

Aboard the Enterprise-D, Admiral McCoy gripped the armrest of the counselor's seat. He looked from Picard to Riker, bitterly. "We're too late! He's gone!"

"You can't know that, Admiral McCoy," countered Picard.

The frail old man, if he could, felt even older then than he ever had, "Don't you tell me what I know and what I don't! I had the man sitting in my noodle, at one point! He's gone. He's gone, and we're too late, damn you."

Confirmation came, hours later, once Proconsul Eragian had cleaned up the mess made by Governor Tharrus of Constanthus, though spun in traditional Romulan fashion. Even so, as tensions between the Romulan Republic and the Federation grew more intense, the longer it took to negotiate the remains of the beloved ambassador.

* * *

Unable to face his part in the demise of his friend, Admiral McCoy sanctioned himself away in ShiKahr, away from the funeral for Spock. He heard the others enter the old home, where Perrin still took up residence. He chose to ignore them, staring out at the unforgiving Vulcan landscape. He couldn't help but remember the last funeral for his friend. Leonard McCoy set his jaw, refusing to look back at the man he knew was behind him.

"Ye cannae blame yourself for it, lad." Montgomery Scott placed a supportive hand on the ancient man's shoulder.

"Like hell I can't," muttered McCoy, his lips trembling as much as his hands, as his eyes welled up. "Damned fool shouldn't have gone out to BFE to begin with, but I fouled it up, Scotty. No do-overs, this time. No Genesis project to bring him back and what's left of him in my brainpan is quiet and cold."

Shaking his head and feeling for his friend, Captain Scott tried to take some of the blame away from McCoy, "Aye, ambitious he was, true... If only that blasted Captain Emick hadn't crippled the _Yorktown_, I'd have been able to help ye, laddie. Had a plan and everything..."

Eaves dropping wasn't considered a taboo to an El-Aurian, and Guinan was certainly not an exception. Ever since Spock's death, things had felt off, the way they had at other times in the past. She had tried to speak with Jean-Luc about it, but he was nearly as much swept up in grief as these two, perhaps an after-effect of his melding with Sarek. She walked past the guests of the house, where Saavik and Perrin were being visited by those close to the ambasador. The withered form of T'Pau stepped out from a flitter, as aides assisted her descent. Expecting the crone to go to the family of Spock, Guinan was taken aback when T'Pau instead approached her, "It has been a long time."

Guinan bowed her head in respect, then raised her brows, "Yes, it has. I grieve with thee, T'Pau."

T'Pau calmly placed her fingertips at Guinan's brow. Not a melding, but a gentle connection. "I grieve with thee, Guinan. Your mind is unsettled. Though this is not unusual given the circumstances, I sense the unease is unrelated." T'Pau took away her hand with grace and raised her brows. "Is it not?"

"No. It is, alright. And it's not." Guinan was used to being the calm listener. It used to amuse her with the role reversal in this particular Vulcan. However, T'Pau's counsel would be welcomed right now. When asked why, The El-Aurian replied, "Spock shouldn't be dead." She grimaced, the expression resembling a smile to those unaware, "I know, everyone is saying he shouldn't be dead. ...But I'm telling you. T'Pau, Spock is supposed to be alive. Something's gone wrong." She heard movement behind T'Pau and looked that way, but whatever or whoever it was had already vanished.


End file.
